The Only Way
by Bligy
Summary: When an old foe reveals a devastating future, only by joining forces with one of his worst enemies can Gokudera Hayato hope to prevent the death of his most precious person.  GokuderaxTsuna main with other characters/pairings
1. Chapter 1

**The Only Way  
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**Author:** Bligy

**Summary:** When an old foe reveals a devastating future, only by joining forces with one of his worst enemies can Gokudera Hayato hope to prevent the death of his most precious person.

**Warnings:** Swearing, angst, emotional drama AND this story contains yaoi (obviously). There are three lemons in this story, if you don't like them, please don't read them. I haven't sectioned them off, so just skip those parts of the chapter - and the lemons are ALWAYS until the end of the chapter, so you're better off just skipping to the next one.

**Pairings:** Gokudera x Tsuna, other pairings revealed as the story progresses.

**Author's Note:** This started as a challenge for a Byakuran x Gokudera, which was the chapter you are about to read, then I realized the potential for more, and decided to keep writing. I shan't say too much, or it'll give away everything. THIS STORY IS ALREADY FINISHED. There are 29 chapters and they shall be posted at least one a day, potentially more. This was written for my beloveds on FB. I have done a brief read/edit over everything, but otherwise this story is unbetaed and any mistakes (there are many) are my own. This is fanfiction, so many scenes are OOC, but I wrote this entire story in less than a week (four days, I believe), so I did the best I could on short notice. Cheers! Bligy

...

The man's smile was infuriating, it made his blood boil, which wasn't exactly hard. One stupid look and he was about as ready to kill someone as he ever was. Unfortunately, this prick knew just how to hit him the hardest, and like _hell_ was he going to let this bastard hurt the Decimo.

Of course, he hadn't seen that smirk for a month now, ever since they'd returned from the future and no one had seen or heard from Byakuran again, but the memory… the memory made his skin crawl. He clenched his jaw down on his cigarette and swore when he bit through the filter.

Flicking the butt away carelessly, he brought another one to his lips, lighting it as he passed the 'No Smoking' sign attached to the hospital door and snarling when a guard attempted to stop him.

"Back off!" Gokudera grunted as he shoved the man away and stopped for a second to look at the automatic doors that would lead him to what _could_ be the show-down of his life.

Looking down at the paper in his hand, however, he knew that he didn't have a choice:

'Meet me at Namimori General. Come alone, or Sawada Tsunayoshi will pay the price.'

The words were followed by a specific time and room – the time had been ignored in favor of getting there as quickly as humanly possible.

Gokudera crushed the elegantly scrawled note in his fist as he stormed into the declared building, people parting for him like the sea with his aura of anger and the fierce expression on his face. He found the room with the aide of a terrified nurse who pointed and stuttered like mad, but was able to get him there within three minutes of his entry.

He had a stick of dynamite already out, between his fingers and about to be lit off the end of his cigarette as he crashed into the empty room where he was supposed to be meeting the renewed threat against the Vongola famiglia.

"So nice of you to show up… and so promptly, too," Byakuran declared, seated casually on a thread-bare, worn down couch.

At first, Gokudera couldn't help but feel a bit taken aback by the tired lines on Byakuran's face, the slouch to his shoulders and the resigned look to his smirk.

"What the fuck do you want?" the silver-haired second-in-command demanded and was irked when Byakuran chuckled at him, although again slightly ruffled at the weariness to the sound.

"There's been a disturbance to the future," Byakuran stated, leaning his elbows on his knees and looking up at Gokudera expectantly.

"And what the hell does that have to do with the Decimo?" Gokudera demanded suspiciously, fingering the stick of dynamite in his hands a little awkwardly, wondering if this beaten-down version of his former adversary was actually as threatening as the note sounded.

"I am of no threat to you now," Byakuran stated, opening his hands and showing off his lack of weapons – or rings. "I can see when I've lost, and I have no intention of fighting a losing battle."

"Didn't stop you before, you stupid bastard," Gokudera muttered, keeping the dynamite out just to spite.

"I'm guessing that you've managed to alert security with your… dramatic entrance. Shall we?" Byakuran motioned past Gokudera and the silver-haired man snorted in disbelief.

"Like hell I'm going anywhere with you," he stubbornly declared and glared when Byakuran simply stared at him.

"I have no intention of giving you information that could change the surface of the world in a hospital with a thousand ears and twice as many threats. If you truly feel that the Decimo Vongola's life is that worthless—"

"Shut the fuck up and go wherever. Shit… why didn't you just tell me to meet me there in the first place," Gokudera grumbled as Byakuran walked out of the hospital, a casual hop to his step and the first returns of a true smirk to his face.

"I'll remember that next time," Byakuran stated with a chuckle and quickly led the way through the halls, bypassing security by inches and getting them out and into a back alley, where he then took a few more twists and turns and ended up in what looked like a warzone, but could have – ten years or so ago – passed for a park.

"Is this your big, secret meeting place?" Gokudera asked, eyeing the destroyed swing set with disdain.

"No, the hospital was the meeting place, this is merely where we'll be speaking," Byakuran stated and Gokudera nearly threw his dynamite just to shut the man up.

"Well?" Gokudera growled when Byakuran made himself comfortable on a giant tire and stared at him.

"The Decimo Vongola is dying," Byakuran declared without any introduction.

Gokudera was flying forward before he even knew it, grabbing the front of Byakuran's jacket and snarling into his face.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?" he screamed, shaking the man and not noticing as Byakuran just flopped there like a rag-doll.

When Gokudera finally ceased his shaking – realizing that Byakuran wasn't responding to his threats – he only had to wait a few seconds before the man started talking again.

"Tsuna will die from an incurable disease in five years. All of my futures state so," Byakuran warned, grabbing Gokudera's hand on his jacket tightly in his own and prying it off his clothing while Gokudera stood in frothing fury.

"Like fuck… like fucking hell, this is bullshit. This is just some fucked up shit you're spewing so that we'll drop our guard, or so that you can move in on his territory, or…" Gokudera trailed off, feeling something icy-hot settling into his stomach and bile rising in his throat. "Why the fuck are you telling me this?"

"I have seen twenty different futures… twenty alternate universes that could come to pass with the death of the Decimo Vongola… including the rise of another head, or the fall of the family in general… but all of them end in devastation for the world. Even those in which I somehow manage to rule merely end in my swift demise," Byakuran sighed wistfully, his thumb tracing along the finger where his Mare ring sat before Uni sacrificed herself to destroy it.

"That explains jack-shit. Why did you tell _me_?" Gokudera demanded again, replacing his hand on Byakuran's jacket and shaking the man once more.

"Because a twenty-first future just appeared… one where Tsunayoshi may just survive," Byakuran stated.

Gokudera, for the second time in less than an hour, felt the ground move beneath him and the wind from his lungs deflate. Tsuna… was dying, but he could live?

"How?" Gokudera hissed, his voice a pleading demand, unable to stand on his own and infuriated by it.

"If you help me, _we_ can make a cure," Byakuran assured him, placing his hands over Gokudera's and staring at him intently.

"Me?" Gokudera blinked, disarmed at the idea of helping with anything that didn't involve the destruction of personal property.

"Of course… you're the apprentice of that useless Doctor Shamal, are you not?" Byakuran smiled, and Gokudera felt the hope in his chest tighten into anger once more.

Grunting, he threw the man back onto the tire and stepped away, taking out a cigarette with shaking fingers and glaring.

"I think you're full of shit. I'm going to check on your so-called future… and if, _if_ what you're saying is true… we'll talk again," Gokudera muttered darkly, looking away and debating if this would be considering working with the enemy.

"I've already told you, Gokudera… I can't win this war… anymore. I'm of no threat to the Vongola name, but there may be some strategic benefit in having a medic who can see the future as an ally, nay?" Byakuran asked with his eyes twinkling brightly and that horrific smirk on his face.

Strategic benefit his ass… there was something Byakuran wasn't telling him.

"I'll find you, you smug bastard. If you're telling the truth, I'll make that cure or kill you trying, and if you're lying… well, we'll just see how long you burn before going to hell," Gokudera threatened.

"I look forward to it," the white-haired man told him, staring directly at him even as Gokudera turned and walked away, a shiver running down his spine declaring that the asshole was still staring at him.

He felt it all the way to Tsuna's front door, and absently Gokudera wondered if he'd been followed, or if Byakuran was simply watching him through whatever ability it was that he had.

"Hey Gokudera! I wasn't expecting you today!" Tsuna greeted him with that nervous smile and somewhat-eager look on his face, and Gokudera knew that no matter what he learned on the other end of the ten-year bazooka, there was no way he was going to let the Decimo die.


	2. Chapter 2

The cloying smoke from the ten year bazooka made him gag as he attempted to regain his footing and stumbled around in the darkness, trying to figure out where exactly he was.

It took him a few moments to find a light, and then a few more for him to realize that he had absolutely no concept of his current situation. It looked like he was in an empty, hollowed out room.

The twisting of his gut informed him that there was probably more to this than met the eye, but he refused to believe in Byakuran's words, so he just shoved the door open and was surprised further to see a hallway he recognized quite well.

Why the hell was he in Tsuna's house, and why was Tsuna's room so… empty?

Feeling that hollow dread solidify in his stomach, he rushed down the stairs and into the bright, cheerful looking kitchen where a noticeably older, but still recognizable Maman stood, tearfully stirring something on the stove while humming brokenly to herself.

"Sawada-san…" he trailed off as she turned to look at him and appeared surprised to see him.

"Oh… don't you look so young, Gokudera! Did you get in another fight with Lambo?" she scolded, waving her spoon at him, even while attempting to hide her tears.

"Ah… yes… in my time, but… where is everyone…?" he asked, trying to find a way to ask about Tsuna without blatantly asking about Tsuna. "Why am I here… where is… where's Tsuna?"

For a full five minutes, she just stared at him, and then a choked sob echoed in the room and Gokudera felt his heart freeze.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Gokudera-kun, it's just been… such a long time since someone's asked about Tsuna…" she said, sitting down and dabbing at her cheeks lightly with a cloth Gokudera pulled from one of the linen closets.

"So… so… where is he?" Gokudera asked, squeezing her shoulder a bit harder than he probably should have.

"I'm guessing you already know where my baby is. After all, you were the one who… who… that is…" tears overtook her speech again and Gokudera felt like his stomach was attempting to crawl up his throat.

"I was the one who what?" Gokudera attempted to guide her back to her previous topic.

"You were the one who made all the arrangements… all of Tsuna's… everything. I was too broken, I'm still too broken. My baby… my baby's gone. I'm so sorry…" she sobbed into her hands, shoulders shaking as Gokudera stood and stared at her in prone horror.

"He's… gone?" Gokudera chewed on the words, unable to believe them despite hearing them in his own voice.

"He died… oh, he died years ago, but it still feels like yesterday," she stated, her sobs subsiding somewhat she dabbed more at her red, swollen orbs.

"Oh," Gokudera felt his body trembling, and he couldn't help it as he crumpled to the ground, gazing sightlessly ahead of him as the broken feeling in his chest tightened.

He barely felt the smoke rise around him and was shocked to hell when he reappeared back in his own time and found his arms wrapped tightly around another body, his face buried in their hair and dampness in the strands indicated that his ten years later form hadn't been able to retain their composure very well.

"Uh… Gokudera, can you let me go, now?" Tsuna mumbled from somewhere in his chest, and Gokudera felt his heart start beating again. His fingers flexed, tightening in their hold on the Decimo Vongola and he took in a deep breath.

"I'm not going to let you go," Gokudera whispered to himself, steeling his resolve as his fingers clutched deep enough into the Decimo's arms to bruise and he heard Tsuna let out a small sound of misery, one that he clutched close to his heart simply based on the fact that Tsuna made it. Tsuna was here, alive… warm in his arms. Tsuna wasn't going anywhere, not as long as he could stop it!

"Gokudera?" Tsuna asked as the white-haired boy finally pulled back a bit to stare at his precious Decimo's face.

"Decimo," Gokudera said, his tone a bit grim, but his eyes determined and solid.

"What did you see? Your… I mean, you in ten years… he didn't really say anything, he just grabbed me and wouldn't let go…?" Tsuna asked, and then chuckled a bit. "Kind of like you're doing now… speaking of which, can you please—"

"No! I won't let you go!" Gokudera declared with fire in his voice and passion laced into his words. "I'll be beside you forever!"

"Okay…" Tsuna agreed, his eyes nervous once more, but the stupid smile on his face saying that he didn't object more than a token.

Never in his life had he felt more content in the presence of simple smile and Gokudera gently let his arms drop, freeing Tsuna, who seemed to realize what kind of awkward position they were in.

"Uh…" Tsuna's ears gradually turned red and Gokudera blinked in confusion. Why was the Decimo blushing?

"What?" Gokudera asked, reaching out and guiding Tsuna's face back to his, so that he could observe whatever emotions were written on the Decimo's face. Hopefully they would give him a clue as to Tsuna's embarrassment.

With his movement, Tsuna's entire face when beet red and he looked like he was about to pass out, and Gokudera felt even more confused.

"Are you okay, Decimo?" he asked, concern seeping into his features as he wondered if whatever disease was eating away at his precious Decimo's body was already taking root.

"Ughfdlblge!" Tsuna stated earnestly, staring at Gokudera like it was supposed to have actually made sense in some language or another.

Gokudera was about to ask what the hell he meant when Tsuna stepped back shakily, turned and bolted, leaving the silver-haired boy standing in confusion.

His hand was tingling and he clenched it lightly, unable to comprehend why.

Turning, he looked at the area where Tsuna had disappeared off to – the bathroom – and wondered whether Tsuna's stomach was upset or something. But didn't people usually go green, not red?

Oh well.

Clenching his fist again, he turned and grabbed his bag, taking out a cigarette and chewing it lightly until he got out of the house and lit it up, and then headed out and down the street towards the hospital.

It would appear that he had a Decimo Vongola to save, and a fucking prick to see about it.


	3. Chapter 3

It took a lot longer this time to locate Byakuran, and when he finally did, he found out that the bastard was in an operation and probably wouldn't be out for another few hours.

The adrenaline of holding the Decimo was wearing out and his body was starting to tremble finely, his fingers shaking as he brought another cigarette to his lips and his eyes aching in their need to see the Decimo again, but he held back, knowing that he needed to stay here.

He'd been on the roof for a few hours when the door finally opened and he caught a flash of white hair out of the corner of his eye. It was good timing, he was almost out of cigarettes – which he'd been chain-smoking in his need of something to do – and he turned fully to see Byakuran when the man was close enough to be in striking distance. There was no way in hell he was showing this man his back.

"So…?" Byakuran asked, leaning on a railing and using one of his hands to prop up his head as he stared intently in his direction.

"He's dead. In the future… Tsuna's dead," Gokudera confirmed, staring at Byakuran with judging, cold eyes.

Byakuran nodded, closing his own eyes and turning away to look at the rest of the city absently.

"I have a few leads on ways to cure him, but the key to it is entirely on Shamal… and you," Byakuran stated, looking back on the last word and making Gokudera's skin crawl.

There was… something not right with that statement.

"Why me? Why not just go directly to Shamal?" Gokudera asked, chomping nervously on the end of his cigarette as Byakuran didn't look away, but continued staring intently.

"Because I killed Shamal in the alternate world that we all experienced, and everyone involved remembers what happened… also, he doesn't cure male patients," Byakuran rolled his eyes. "Personally, I don't understand the attachment to females. They're such whiny creatures, and often disappointing in bed. I prefer a more… masculine approach to things, if given a choice."

Gokudera felt his ears light up so red that he could barely feel the coldness through the burning of his skin. He forgot to breathe for a second and gagged on his cigarette, feeling it fall from his lips as he attempted to relearn to breathe.

"Ack!" he choked, stepping away and gasping for breath, leaning heavily on the railing and glaring when he felt Byakuran's hand rub lightly, soothingly, over his back.

"There, there… surely you understand that a great minority of people prefer relationships with their own gender?" Byakuran asked, watching him keenly as Gokudera continued choking some more.

"Get… your… fucking hands… off of me…!" Gokudera gasped as he attempted to flail, but failed miserably.

"Well, now… this could be a problem. I'm not sure I could work with someone so narrow minded…" Byakuran sighed, looking away in disappointment and Gokudera felt his jaw drop, his coughing ceasing in his shock.

The man was insane! First he blatantly states that he's… that… he doesn't… that is, that he… and… then he… "Holy shit you touched me!" Gokudera squirmed away, feeling intensely uncomfortable after realizing that someone who… swung that way had been so close to him. "Wait… were you… were you hitting on me?"

"…Perhaps…" Byakuran smirked and Gokudera felt his ears burn some more as he backed away.

"First rule: Don't touch me unless I give you permission," Gokudera stated, his fingers twitching by a hidden stick of dynamite.

"Second rule: You will follow my lead," Byakuran stated, standing up straight and staring at him head on, now.

Gokudera snarled in his throat and stood up himself, his blush long forgotten in the comfortable numbness of anger.

"Like fuck I'm going to follow you!" Gokudera growled, storming forward and standing chest-to-chest with the fucker.

"I know what the future holds, dearest… do you really want to monopolize Tsunayoshi's future by being stubborn?" Byakuran asked with amusement on his face and smugness in his form.

Ice cold water poured over Gokudera's anger and he hissed in frustration as he stepped backwards, lacing his fingers into his hair and leaning against the railing again, fumbling around in his jacket for his smokes as he debated whether he could get out of this in any way.

"Well… to make this easier. I will refrain from touching you in any way if you agree that I know what I'm talking about, and shall lead the research," Byakuran added objectively.

Gokudera finally managed to find his last smoke and placed it to his lips as he thought about Byakuran's statement – which only made sense.

"Fucker…" Gokudera grumbled in hateful agreement.

"Great… now that we have that established, give me ten minutes to change and sign out, and then you will take me to see the Decimo," Byakuran stated as he started back towards the door to the hospital proper.

"Why the fuck do you need to see Tsuna?" Gokudera muttered, not wanting to object with the deal just made, but not really feeling like giving in without question either.

"To see how far along he is… and to see how quickly we have to work," Byakuran said, his voice sober and stern in the night's cold air, and Gokudera didn't even bother to watch the man leave as he brought his shaking hand back to his lips and took another drag from his cigarette.


	4. Chapter 4

Gokudera felt horrifically awkward as he descended upon Tsuna's house with Byakuran trailing behind him like some kind of absent-minded dog. His fingers were twitching in the absence of a cigarette and he debated stopping by a store to pick up some more, but one quick look behind him banished that thought. He really didn't want to have to be around this bastard longer than he had to be.

Still, as he got nearer and nearer to Tsuna's house, he could only feel more trepidation. This was… confirmation. Yes, he knew, technically, in the future, that Tsuna… that the Decimo, that he wouldn't be around anymore, but with Byakuran here to look at Tsuna.

He looked back at the other white-haired man and jumped a bit when he realized Byakuran was looking at him as well. Turning away, he attempted to chase the blush off his face as he stormed forward and stubbornly attempted to lose the miserable fucker behind him, winding purposely through back roads and snarling under his breath when Byakuran stayed right on his tail.

"Have you told anyone else?" Gokudera grunted, attempting to get away from the awkward silence which had fallen over them.

"I thought about it… but you were the only one that made a difference, so I didn't bother. I believe I may tell Shoichi as well, as that boy does have a tendency to be delightful in these sorts of situations," Byakuran stated, and Gokudera almost choked on his tongue.

"Eh… right…" he didn't want to ask, he didn't need to know… it didn't _matter_ if Byakuran and Shoichi Irie had been… doing that kind of thing. It didn't matter, it didn't matter, it didn't matter, it didn't matter…

"We did, you know… a few times. He was always such a delightful receiver as well," Byakuran stated openly and Gokudera tripped over his own feet, falling flat on his face not but a few steps away from Tsuna's gate.

"Gokudera!" Tsuna gasped, and Gokudera felt his entire face start to glow when he realized that Tsuna had been outside and had seen his face-plant into his yard.

"Decimo!" Gokudera coughed, attempted to brush the sod off his face and make himself presentable for Tsuna's presence.

"Sawada Tsunayoshi… you look the exact same as the last time I saw you… a bit less angry, perhaps," Byakuran stated, and Gokudera felt awful when he saw the expression of rage slowly grow on Tsuna's face.

He saw Tsuna reach for his pocket, hands shaking, eyes never leaving Byakuran, and Gokudera reached out to stop the Decimo from putting on his gloves and taking a pill that would complicate matters so much worse than they already were.

"Ah, there's the anger I remember," Byakuran stated, his voice bitter and baiting.

"Don't… stop, Decimo! He's not here to… he's here to help with something!" Gokudera attempted to explain.

"HELP?" Tsuna screamed, attempting to tear himself away from Gokudera and get to Byakuran, who stood with a peculiar look on his face. "HE KILLED UNI! HE KILLED GAMMA! HE KILLED EVERYONE, AND SHAMAL AND REBORN, AND COLONELLO! HE'S A MONSTER!"

Gokudera froze, his fingers weak in the face of such anger on the normally-shy and sweet Tsuna's face.

In his moment of weakness, Tsuna pushed past him and managed to land a few very solid hits on Byakuran's face, and was in the middle of putting on his gloves when Gokudera was able to move, dashing forward and attempting to restrain the Decimo again.

"I know… I know, I'm sorry, Decimo… but you have to stop! You have to understand, he's not trying to hurt anyone right now. I mean, I know what it looks like, but you have to… Tsuna!" he attempted to stop the other raging boy, grabbing at Tsuna's hands and swatting away the pill bottle, but Tsuna was too far gone.

Before either of them knew what was happening, Gokudera was flat on his ass, holding his eye in pain as Tsuna stood over him, fist still smarting from the punch to his second's face, and all present had wide, shocked eyes.

"G-Gokudera… why…?" Tsuna asked, his rage somewhat subsided with astonishment.

"You're dying, Decimo Vongola," Byakuran stated from his place on the ground, still flat on his back with his eyes scanning the stars, seemingly not even caring about the turmoil running through the two teens before him.

"…what?" Tsuna asked, his voice quiet, emotionless, almost stunned.

"You're dying. Depending on the state of your disease, it could be anywhere from four to six years until your funeral. Gokudera has already been to the future and confirmed my statement and is now working with me to help save you… right, Goku-chan?" Byakuran asked, looking up for the first time to stare Gokudera down.

Gokudera felt… broken. Tsuna had hit him. It wasn't that he didn't deserve it. Bringing Byakuran there without any kind of notice or warning? What kind of bastard _was_ he? He had failed his Decimo… but he couldn't continue to fail him, he wouldn't allow Tsuna to die.

Getting onto his hands and knees, he bowed before Tsuna and attempted to reign in his conflicting emotions.

"I'm sorry, Decimo… I failed you. It's my fault that you're so upset. I didn't realize… I should have realized… it's my fault. I'm sorry," Gokudera whispered, begging for Tsuna not to be angry at him. He didn't know what he'd do if the Decimo was angry at him.

"I'm not angry at you…" Tsuna stated, the tone of his voice empty, hollow, almost echoing off of the nothing in the street. "But… is it true?"

Gokudera choked on his tongue, feeling tears strike his eyes for the first time since he'd found out. Was it true?

"…Yes…" Gokudera admitted, the word like poison on his lips.

Tsuna let out a small noise, like a wounded animal, giving Gokudera some warning, and he looked up in time to see the Decimo's knees buckle as the boy fell towards the ground.

"Tsuna!" Gokudera shouted, darting forward and catching the other boy in his arms as Tsuna stared lifelessly forward.

"Gokudera… what's going on?" Tsuna asked blankly, obviously confused and overwhelmed.

"Tea is often a good remedy for shock. Shall we go inside and have your mother prepare some?" Byakuran asked, hovering by the gate to the Sawada residence and motioning inside enthusiastically.

Gokudera felt rage burn in his lungs at the smile on the bastard's face while Tsuna trembled like a leaf in his arms.

Grinding his teeth, he stormed forward as smoothly as possible, so as to not disturb the already-disturbed Vongola Decimo and made his way inside, apologizing to Maman and begging her for privacy and tea as he carried Tsuna up to his room with Byakuran once more on his heels.


	5. Chapter 5

Silence had overtaken the room, poignant and suffocating. Gokudera was nearly choking on it.

Tsuna was seated on his bed, legs crossed, hands in his lap and eyes watching his fingers twitch. Every so often, his eyes would dart up to check out the room, before returning to stare at his fingers again. Gokudera was positive that Tsuna was looking at the injuries he'd dealt, and he wished there was a way he could convince the Decimo that he wasn't hurt, or offended, by the punch.

Gokudera had very much deserved it for upsetting him.

On the other side of the room, Byakuran was sprawled like royalty, taking up half of Tsuna's floor and playing with things touchable from his floor-based position. Somehow Byakuran gave off the illusion of a king in a pauper's room, despite the sincere opposite.

Gokudera himself was seated on Tsuna's bed, as far away as he could get on the mattress while still managing to maintain a proper seating position. Tsuna had demanded it, or he probably would have continued to stay on the ground, unworthy of the position of 'Right Hand Man'.

"So… I'm dying…" Tsuna ventured carefully, and Byakuran shifted to start paying attention once more.

"That's correct," Byakuran confirmed, and Gokudera flinched, wishing that there could have been an easier way of saying all this… wishing that he would have been better prepared… wishing that maybe he'd had the common sense to rub two brain cells together and actually come up with a plan to tell the Decimo rather than having Byakuran spring it on him during a fight.

Byakuran of all people.

Gokudera must have been insane to agree to all of this… but…

Tsuna was looking at him again, with eyes so scared and helpless that Gokudera's fingers itched in longing for… something. They wanted to do something, and that something involved the Decimo.

When Gokudera didn't make any move, Tsuna seemed to gather himself and turned back towards Byakuran. He took a deep breath that seemed to calm his nerves. Gokudera noted the way that Tsuna's shoulders shook, the way his hands seemed to have the jitters, and the glisten of tears present once more in those expressive brown eyes.

Gokudera felt like something unpleasant that one picked up on the bottom of their shoe; an unwanted, filthy guest that only caused problems and disgust.

Hesitating, but determined, he reached out and grasped onto one of Tsuna's hands, his own limb shaking badly enough that he was surprised he was even able to do so.

Tsuna's head jerked in his direction, eyes wide and shocked, but a small spark of something not-unpleasant in his eyes. The small hand in his twitched reflexively, and then squeezed around his own, as Tsuna's eyes seemed to harden into a determined, stubborn look and he jerked his chin up and turned back to Byakuran.

"And why are you here?" Tsuna demanded, his voice still wavering, but a considerable amount stronger than his last statement, as though he were leeching energy from the hand grasped in his own.

"I'm here to see if I can save you… with the help of your Right Hand Man, that is," Byakuran stated. The way that the man uttered 'Right Hand Man' made Gokudera's skin heat and his face flush in embarrassment. He all of a sudden felt completely different meaning to the hand held in his and couldn't help his wandering imagination.

He and the Decimo? Impossible! Besides… he didn't… he didn't swing that way…

Did he?

Tsuna didn't seem to be the slightest bit bothered with the intonation, as he simply squeezed Gokudera's hand harder and glared fiercely at his verbal opponent.

Gokudera felt like his breath had been stolen momentarily at this brief glimpse at the Vongola Decimo that Tsuna could and would turn in to. Once more, like thousands of times previous, he felt proud to be serving this man, and mentally declared that he would do so until his demise– regardless of Tsuna's own wishes or… or death. He would serve Tsuna in memory alone for as long as he should live if it was necessary.

But Tsuna wasn't going to die. Gokudera would make fucking sure of it.

"What kind of examination is necessary, you slimy bastard?" Gokudera asked, abruptly ending the two-way sparring match.

"No need for such harsh words," Byakuran scolded lightly, looking away from them both and lacing his fingers over his stomach. "I will need the Decimo to come to the hospital, and I will reserve some equipment for a proper inspection."

"Wait… if you needed the Decimo at the hospital, then why the fuck are you here?" Gokudera demanded, feeling his anger bubbling up once more.

A squeeze to his hand reminded him that Tsuna was right next to him, and that exploding at Byakuran would probably not help this situation at all. If anything, Tsuna would probably join him and that would just create utter chaos. As much as he didn't like the fucker, Byakuran was… a necessary evil right now.

"I am here to see if any physical signs have manifested which would cause for alarm and the heightened awareness and/or an increase in our movement schedule," Byakuran explained casually, eyes roving from Tsuna's to Gokudera's and then back to the Decimo's again.

"And?" Tsuna demanded, his chin jerked up, his eyes bright and challenging and his body taut as a wire.

"I'm happy to announce that you don't appear to be in ill health, Decimo," Byakuran said with a slight frown.

"Sorry to disappoint," Tsuna hissed out.

"Hardly… it merely means that detecting the disease at this stage could be… challenging. Therefore making obtaining a sample of it in this time very difficult and hindering the process of finding a cure," Byakuran sighed, turning away in what appeared to be frustration and tapping his fingers against the ground lightly.

"What 'is' the disease?" Tsuna asked with a certain amount of curious dread in his voice, and Gokudera felt a bit ashamed that he'd never thought to ask the same question.

"Unnamed, unseen before; it is something that is believed to run in the bloodline of the Vongola Primo, and therefore in all Vongolas. Unfortunately, whether due to untimely death or other things, you are the first to truly feel the worst of it. I'm afraid this means that studying it is impossible until I'm sure that you are under its affects," Byakuran sighed, sweeping a hand over his bruised eyes and flicking hair out of his face.

How the man managed to look like royalty while also resembling panda was beyond Gokudera's realm of imagination.

"How have you managed to study it already, then?" Tsuna ventured, his voice leaning more and more towards curiosity rather than animosity.

"The future is but for the taking," Byakuran answered cryptically.

Tsuna snorted, but looked away and didn't appear to care to question the other man further.

"Well… I suppose I'll take my leave. I expect you to be at the hospital tomorrow after school, I'll be waiting in the usual spot," Byakuran stated, rising to his feet so gracefully that Gokudera couldn't help but look for strings on the man's limbs. There was simply no way a human could raise from the ground like that!

Byakuran left in the same meandering, jaunty way he arrived – taking the time to say goodbye to Maman and say a few nasty words to Lambo in the process.

After the door slammed on his departure – care of a certain bad-tempered bovine – Tsuna and Gokudera were left alone in Tsuna's room, hands still clasped together.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Tsuna asked immediately, turning to stare at him with resigned accusation in his eyes.

"Because… because I didn't know what to say," Gokudera admitted. "Forgive me, Decimo."

"I already told you that I'm not mad at you," Tsuna said, that soft smile on his face as he squeezed Gokudera's hand a bit tighter.

Gokudera's eyes fell onto those hands and he felt his ears turn red again. As he looked up at Tsuna, he noted that the Decimo's ears were red as well and he swallowed uneasily.

"Decimo…" he began, but stopped when Tsuna shook his head.

"Call me Tsuna… if you're… if you're going to ask about… call me Tsuna," the other boy demanded, and Gokudera felt his throat clamp shut.

He couldn't breathe, he couldn't think, he could do absolutely nothing as Tsuna leaned forward uneasily, eyes scanning his face carefully and thoroughly, before closing the distance between their lips.


	6. Chapter 6

Gokudera was floating, or drifting… or possibly just completely out of his mind… he hadn't quite decided yet.

The Decimo, Tenth, Juudaime… Tsuna…. Sawada Tsunayoshi, his most precious Decimo Vongola had kissed him.

He was in the middle of class and he felt a hysterical cackle bubble up in his throat. He slammed his head forward, causing a loud 'thud' in class, and attempted to regain composure.

Fuck! Tsuna had kissed him.

"May I go to the bathroom?" Gokudera asked from his position face-planted on the desk.

"I think that may be for the best," the teacher agreed, his voice slightly amused with a side of awkward.

Gokudera couldn't blame him, he probably looked pretty insane right now. Hell… he _felt_ insane. There was no way that Tsuna had… there was no _possible_ way that Tsuna could have…

When he got to the bathroom, he proceeded to splash water on his face until he couldn't breathe and then attempted to regain some composure, not to mention chase the stupid little smile off his face.

Gokudera didn't smile… he didn't… not like this, anyway. Sure, he could smirk, or grin triumphantly… and perhaps he'd allow a smile in the face of his Decimo… but…

Decimo… Tsuna.

Tsuna had kissed him.

His face burned red again and he once more went through the process of attempting to drown himself.

"Are you okay?" someone asked, and he turned to see Tsuna looking at him in a mixture of confusion, amusement and a tiny bit of fear.

"Buhubbah?" Gokudera asked, still a bit too drowned to really think straight.

"You're a mess," Tsuna said, walking forward and bringing a stack of folded paper towels with him.

While Gokudera stood in absolute stunned silence, Tsuna proceeded to mop him off, drenching multiple towels in the process, but being thorough and far too sweet about it.

"I wasn't expecting you to faint last night," Tsuna admitted, his ears slightly pink and his cheeks coloured oh-so-prettily, and Gokudera felt an instant echo on his own face, especially at the teen's words.

He had fainted not but seconds after Tsuna had kissed him.

He'd forgotten to breathe.

"And when I went to go get some help… you weren't there when I came back," Tsuna said, his voice still mild, but there was a touch of hurt to the tone.

Gokudera wanted to drown himself some more in the face of his own stupidity. Yes, he'd fainted, yes when he'd come to he'd been so stupid and scared and happy and terrified and ecstatic and horrified that he'd run out the window the moment that he could, nearly broke his leg, ran into a telephone pole, and managed to get home – somehow – in one piece.

"I didn't mean… I mean, I didn't want to do something that you didn't… that is… I thought that you, but if I was wrong-!" Tsuna stammered, his face getting redder by the second.

Gokudera, despite being drenched, reached out to grab hold of Tsuna's arms, clutching tightly and ceasing the boy's useless blabbering.

"I like you, Sawada Tsunayoshi," Gokudera stated with all the sincerity of his heart, which of course meant that flames were ricocheting off the walls behind him, explosions were going off in the background and his eyes were glowing with an unholy, demonic light.

"Okay. I like you, too," Tsuna admitted, his blush faded a bit, and his eyes more than a little terrified, but Gokudera could work with that.

Fully in his own senses this time, not starving for breath, or stunned beyond words, Gokudera laced his fingers into the back of Tsuna's head, pulled it closer to him, and proceeded to kiss his Decimo breathless.

If someone were to pass out this time, it would _not_ be him. He would kiss Tsuna so hard that the other boy would completely forget about their last kiss and would understand with every inch of him that Gokudera lo-liked him… he liked him very much.

It only took a few seconds for Gokudera to have Tsuna backed up against one of the walls in the bathroom, leaning into his body with his tongue halfway down the other boy's throat. Tsuna's moans and gasps were echoing off the tiled expanse of the third floor men's room, but neither really cared about location all that much.

Tsuna broke the kiss for a moment, turning his head to the side to catch his breath, and his hand – trembling – reached out to snag Gokudera's hand from his back and clasped their fingers together.

After he regained his breathing, he turned forward again, and Gokudera was swept away by the glassy, unfocused look to those eyes – still dazed from the kiss.

"Again?" Tsuna whispered, his voice throaty and hazy from the multiple kisses, and Gokudera let out a small, pathetic sound of want as he closed the distance between their lips once more.


	7. Chapter 7

The examination was going well… or as well as could be hoped, anyway. Gokudera was mostly doing a hell of a lot of standing around, staring at walls, being confused at what the fuck the machines were that Byakuran seemed to be operating so flawlessly.

Being a doctor was something that had never really occurred to Gokudera – despite his choice of role model – and he wondered for the first time in his life about what it was he intended to do after high school.

Serve the Decimo, of course! But… even Ryohei was getting a college degree, perhaps to help, perhaps just to be an annoyance to a different school body. Stupid Lawnhead.

Still… being a doctor… perhaps there was some potential in that? Yet, Ryohei's ability was to heal, so did they really need a doctor?

"Your expression is scaring the Decimo," Byakuran told him from beside him, and Gokudera snapped out of his harsh thinking, his expression easing out from snarling-beast-from-hell and back to normal-Gokudera-pissed-off.

"Sorry, Tsu-Decimo!" Gokudera called out, but frowned when he realized that Tsuna wasn't in the room, in fact, wasn't even in a position where he could have _seen_ his expression. Gokudera looked at Byakuran in annoyance and wanted to slap the little smirk off the man's face.

It was strange… with a bit of sleep, Byakuran appeared to be a lot less weary, a lot less of a shell of what he was before. In just the sixteen hours or so since the last time he'd seen him, it appeared that Byakuran had gone from defeated to renewed… perhaps not the same _type_ of renewed, but renewed none-the-less.

"Why medicine?" Gokudera grunted, wondering if he should call Byakuran on his bluff about Tsuna.

"Because I have the chance to create quite the life for myself with it, given that I can see the future and make discoveries decades – and perhaps even centuries – before anyone else," Byakuran stated, his eyes calculating and concentrated on whatever glowing lights were showing what was going on in the Decimo's insides.

Gokudera was having issues controlling himself with the idea that Tsuna was inside that machine in nothing but a half-assed robe that left nothing to the imagination… especially when Tsuna turned around, and when he turned around, Gokudera got to see his—

"Wait, isn't that just taking credit for other people's discoveries?" Gokudera grumbled in annoyance.

"Perhaps, but in order to put them into proper use, I must first figure them out myself, and besides… wouldn't you rather have me take credit for someone else's discovery if it meant that the Decimo lived?" Byakuran asked, another small smirk on his face when Gokudera felt his face twist into a soured look.

"It's still cheating," Gokudera grumped. It wasn't like he really gave a shit. It was just a matter that he didn't want to be pleased with _anything_ Byakuran did. The man was a goddamned menace.

"Cheating is entirely a matter of opinion. I can think of very few people in my life – or in any of the lives I've seen – who haven't cheated in some way," Byakuran shrugged. "With my ability, however, life _invites_ cheating. It's… difficult to live honestly when you know how easily it is to just take everything and anything you've ever wanted."

Gokudera blinked, staring at Byakuran in shock for a second, and then turning away before the other man could see him—

"I saw that expression in the glass—"

Gokudera turned his face to the side to end the conversation, a small blush on his cheeks.

"So what… you're trying to go straight, now? Be _honest_ and _pure_ in your intentions?" Gokudera snorted.

"I assure you that I will never be straight… in any form of the word. I feel that I may no longer be alone in that attribute, however," Byakuran jested lightly, and Gokudera felt his hand clench at his side in annoyance. "Although I'll give you credit, the Vongola Decimo truly is a sight to behold, and he only gets more beautiful as time passes."

Gokudera felt his throat dry up, his mind already so clouded with Tsuna that the idea of a Tsuna even more beautiful, even more breathtaking, stole his every thought and rendered him no more useful than a vegetable.

He didn't notice or care when the room lapsed into silence, or how Byakuran had masterfully avoided answering his real question, his eyes entirely devoted to the space he knew Tsuna was occupying. His devotion to Tsuna had been with him now for two years. Since Tsuna was barely fourteen years old, Gokudera had known that he would die if the Decimo would just ask for it.

Now, at sixteen, Tsuna had grown a little, filled out some more and was no longer just the scraggly-scrawny 'No Good Tsuna' that had had been when they'd first met (although Gokudera had never bought into that opinion), and was now a fierce warrior in his own right.

Hell, after their venture into the past, Tsuna had only gotten even more… glorious, breathtaking, astoundingly, astonishingly wonderful. No one had managed to defeat as many enemies as seamlessly… Gokudera was ashamed to say that he couldn't even hold a candle to Tsuna's brilliance.

"You love him, you know," Byakuran chirped in, and Gokudera nearly swallowed his own tongue.

"Wha-?" Gokudera sputtered, eyes wide and shocked.

"You love him… it's written all over your every movement, every look. It's romantic in a sickening way," Byakuran shrugged, looking at him out of the corner of one of his eyes.

"I-I…" Gokudera trailed off, staring once more at the metal case which contained the Decimo as his throat went dry and panic clawed at his chest.

Love… love was a forbidden emotion. Like was fine, like was just… like, but love… love was how people got hurt.

"There's a store here which sells cigarettes. We'll be awhile, you should go try to calm your nerves… you'll scare him again if you stay here," Byakuran stated, and Gokudera looked up to see that the other man wasn't even looking at him, but instead had his eyes glued to the information pouring out of the machine's readings.

There was a frown on the bastard's face and the smirk was no where near present. Gokudera felt that he should be here, should be fucking useful… instead, he was crawling away to go nurse his wounds.

Love.

He couldn't love Tsuna.

Could he?


	8. Chapter 8, Interlude 1

Tsuna felt the machine release him from its loud, echoing confines. He didn't really care for being shoved inside a metal tube that wailed and clattered like it was falling apart around him, but he also didn't really care for the idea of dying, either.

Not to mention he didn't like the fact that it was Byakuran who was _claiming_ to help them, or that Gokudera seemed to already trust the other man… or that Gokudera had known and hadn't told him.

Though there were few shining moments to this entire chaotic mess. Tsuna had enjoyed the kiss…es, sort of 'es'… as in, maybe, as in if the first one could be considered a kiss.

He had initiated it. Yes… he had started this whole thing, and every time he thought about it, he blushed so hard that he felt like he was going to pass out – much like he was doing now.

"The scans show nothing," Byakuran announced, and Tsuna was snapped out of his sickeningly slow replay of their _actual_ kiss, and turned to stare at the other man.

"So…" Tsuna frowned, and then trailed off when he realized Gokudera was no where to be seen. "Where's Gokudera?"

"He went out to buy cigarettes. He was… fretting," Byakuran smirked, his eyes glinting devilishly and his entire form seemed to ooze suggestiveness.

Tsuna blushed again, unable to help himself.

Shuffling slightly, he attempted to get off the bed in such a way that didn't show his mostly-exposed back side, but a slight intake of breath told him that he hadn't succeeded.

"Pervert," Tsuna hissed, his face scarlet as he attempted to use his toes to grab his clothing in the corner of the room, thus to avoid bending down and exposing himself more.

"Hardly… when one observes a work of art exposed before him, is he a pervert?" Byakuran asked, and Tsuna jumped as he realized that the other man was right behind him.

"S-stay away from me!" Tsuna gasped, stumbling and falling over his own two feet, and unable to help his quick breath of half-choked air when Byakuran followed him to the ground.

"You are both such splendid creatures… so beautiful in your absolute naivety. I wish I could spoil you," Byakuran stated, leaning down and smelling – _smelling_ – his hair.

"Stay away from me," Tsuna stated, this time a lot more firmly, his hands reaching into his clothes – located in a pile right next to him – and searching out his gloves. He'd take a weapon over clothing any day when it came to Byakuran.

"How can I when your trembling form, your shaking resolve and your sweet, whispering words do nothing but invite me?" Byakuran asked, leaning over him further and causing Tsuna to stare wide-eyed into the other's orbs from barely an inch away.

He didn't know what to say, what to do. His instinctive reaction was to fight back, to get the other man as far away as he could, but his honeyed words, his close proximity… his hot, sickly-sweet breath (like marshmallows, almost…) , suffocated him and drowned his thoughts.

In fact, he almost didn't notice when Byakuran's lips met his, his mind so hazy and confused.

"So willing, so pliable… so delightfully compliant… I wish I could have you here, Sawada Tsunayoshi… the way that you would cry and moan, it would be worth a thousand deaths," Byakuran inferred, and Tsuna gasped when the other man's leg rubbed against a particularly sensitive piece of his anatomy, which didn't appear to mind that it was a sworn, hated enemy doing the touching.

"Let… let me go!" Tsuna attempted again, squirming weakly, worthlessly, in the other man's arms.

"Only because you asked, Decimo," the other man stated, lightly trailing his open palm from the tip of Tsuna's forehead down his face, tracing his racing pulse-point, over his sensitive nipples and then down to cup his crotch.

Tsuna moaned, his voice unrecognizable to his own ears. The sound made him blush like never before and he attempted to look away.

"So… so beautiful," Byakuran sighed, and Tsuna was suddenly left alone, cold and shaking on the ground.

His body was sobbing, crying out for what he'd lost, and his mind was racing like it had run ten marathons over again.

Closing his eyes, he curled up into a ball – uncaring of his exposed body – and attempted to keep himself from crying.


	9. Chapter 9

Gokudera returned to the room after a short interlude of smoking as many cigarettes as he could in a very short period of time and he felt a bit better, despite smelling like a chimney and receiving multiple dirty looks as he walked through the hospital once more.

When he entered into the room, it was to see a heavily-smirking Byakuran and a quiet, small looking fully-clothed Tsuna. He was disappointed that he didn't get to see Tsuna in the gown again, but he supposed that that came with the territory when he left for such a long while.

"Glad to see that you found your way back without hassle," Byakuran taunted, obviously hinting at the length of time he'd taken to smoke.

Gokudera merely snorted at the other man and walked over to the Decimo, a hopeful, goofy smile on his face.

"Are you okay, Decimo?" he asked, noticing the frown on Tsuna's face, and the fact that it didn't appear that the other boy had even realized he'd arrived.

"Oh, Gokudera!" Tsuna said, his head jerking up and his eyes going wide in surprise. "…Hi."

"Hi…" Gokudera said back, smiling that stupid smile of his as Tsuna answered it with his own. Gokudera reached out and gently laced their fingers together as the worried lines around the Decimo's face gradually faded away.

"I'm okay…" Tsuna said quietly, his eyes flickering towards where Byakuran was standing and the worried look returned to his face.

"Well, aren't you two the picture of sweetness," Byakuran taunted, his lips twisting slightly into something that no longer resembled amusement, but was almost… bitter.

Tsuna turned a bit red, but clasped his hands around Gokudera's tighter.

"Edible?" Tsuna snapped, his voice harsh and angry.

Gokudera frowned at the Decimo's choice of words and closed his hands a bit tighter around Tsuna's as well.

"Very much so," Byakuran stated, his eyes widening slightly.

"Too bad for you, we're taken," Tsuna stated viciously, pulling Gokudera forward and hiding his face in the material of his jacket.

Byakuran's eyes went from alight in curiosity to darken with anger and… disappointment?

"Tease," Byakuran spat, the word actually sounding angry.

Gokudera tugged Tsuna against him a bit tighter and glared at Byakuran, confused but otherwise convinced that the Decimo was correct in his anger. After all, it wasn't like Byakuran had really proven himself to be much more than a menace thus far.

"Piss off," Gokudera snarled back, eyes flashing and fingers itching to throw some dynamite.

Byakuran stared at him for a moment before seeming to collect himself and turned away, gathering the papers and results of his test to scan over them again.

"Nothing has manifested itself yet. I'll test the blood samples you gave and we'll see if perhaps it's there instead. If I can't find it now, then that means that this is going to take even longer. Given that the future changes every time something interferes – in this case, Gokudera – then it's possible you may not even contract the disease, although it's more likely that it will just take a longer time to come forth, or perhaps even lie dormant," Byakuran muttered, the words quick and frustrated. "What it all comes down to, however, is that it must be stopped."

"Why does it matter so much… to you, that is?" Tsuna asked, eyes narrowed and mistrustful as he glared at Byakuran from the cocoon of Gokudera's arms.

Byakuran paused as he rifled through the papers in his hands and he turned to stare at the two of them with the most sober look Gokudera had ever seen on the man's face. Gone was any smirk or smile, or even a hint of jest. He was just… blank.

"The future is a difficult thing to manage, Decimo…" Byakuran said after almost a minute of tense silence. "To maintain my own happiness, to assure the happiness of the few on earth that I care for, and to make sure that the earth doesn't crumble to pieces…"

"You didn't seem to give a shit last time the future went to hell," Gokudera grunted, glaring himself now.

"Yes… but I was at the wheel that time. A completely different experience to being one of those jerked around by fate and destined to die a pathetic existence," Byakuran reminisced, a sad, regretful look to his face.

"So it's okay if the world burns so long as you're the one doing it. You're so full of shit," Gokudera hissed, tightening his grasp on Tsuna and leading the Decimo towards the door to get away from the bastard who was stinking up the air around them.

"I think I'm the most honest person in this room," Byakuran shot back, staring at them both with a strange, hollow look… like someone who… no, but that couldn't be right either.

"Honestly and cruelty are two different things. It's possible to tell the truth without making it hurt," Tsuna said softly, his words holding far more meaning than what Gokudera could see… why was Tsuna talking like… like… like…

…like something had happened while he was gone.

Tension sprung through his back and he turned sharp eyes to look at Byakuran, who was staring at the lump of material and hair in his arms that was Tsuna. His fingers dug into Tsuna's back and he felt rage boiling in his midsection.

"Rule three – you can't touch Tsuna without me present in the room," Gokudera stated, cutting off whatever grand statement of destructive shit Byakuran may have been about to utter.

"Wha-?" Tsuna tensed in his arms, his relaxation of a few seconds ago broken by obvious fear and a certain amount of denial. "How did you-?"

"Rule four, I am to have access to the Decimo whenever I require it for further testing, and if that means that you're here with him… so be it," Byakuran shot back just as quickly, eyes moving from their position on Tsuna to stare at Gokudera instead.

"Done. We're leaving," Gokudera declared, not giving anyone time to object or rethink things as he dragged a somewhat-prone Tsuna from the room and ignored the glare digging into his back.

Something was going on here, something that Byakuran wasn't telling them. It was something important and something that he needed to figure out… and soon.


	10. Chapter 10, Interlude 2

Byakuran felt his hands shake as he reached out towards a frame with a picture that didn't exist yet. At least… it didn't exist here, not now, not… yet. In that picture, he was smiling, happy, his arms wrapped around another… whose arms were wrapped yet another.

The three of them had been visiting a park that day… the sun had been shining, the grounds dense with people who had also come to enjoy the sunshine. The zoo was next door, and the youngest of their group had desperately wanted to go – for old time's sake, he'd declared.

The middle had remembered an incident involving lions, the youngest had squealed in terror and shrieked that he hoped nothing like that would happen again.

Byakuran hadn't understood – he hadn't been there – but given what he'd known of the two of them, it didn't surprise him much.

He followed them as they'd meandered down one path to the next, gazing and comparing animals, as their youngest stated his fondness for the lemurs while the middle declared that foxes were so much more entertaining… and Byakuran had observed the jaguars.

It hadn't escaped his notice in the slightest that their animals had ranged from predator to prey, and he could only continue to smile as the world seemed… right, for once.

He didn't feel the need to rule, he didn't feel the need to manipulate the powerful emotions under his control… hell, he hadn't felt the need to do anything but live.

He would have been happy there, in that daydream, for the rest of his God-given existence… but then something had changed.

During their trip through the reptile house, their youngest had gotten ill, dizzy, woozy, and then fainted all together.

The experience bled together in his memories… memories that weren't quite his, but yet, memories that he couldn't all together abandon either.

A mere month later, the youngest was dead.

Five years later… and his second lover would commit suicide.

And suddenly he was alone.

That picture… that lone shot of that day, was the happiest moment of his life.

His hand trembled as he replaced the image back on its counter space – an picture frame without a picture – but Byakuran was determined that that picture would be there again, except this time… this time he'd have dozens more like it.


	11. Chapter 11

It didn't feel like it… but somehow, some way, half a year had passed. Half a year of sporadic meetings with Byakuran, school, fighting and chaos – a good six months… minus the whole 'Byakuran' bit – that guy was still a royal asshat.

Gokudera was currently curled up on the couch in the living room of his flat, Tsuna resting between his legs and against his chest, fluffy hair tickling his chin and making his nose twitch.

"You awake?" Gokudera asked, gently guiding Tsuna's head up to see the brunet's closed eyes.

"Mmm?" Tsuna mumbled, nuzzling his chin and making Gokudera smile fondly.

Six months and they'd never gone past kissing, Tsuna constantly finding reasons and ways to avoid it. Gokudera never really minded, happy to just be close to the Decimo, content for lack of better word.

"We have to go see Byakuran in a few hours…" Gokudera reminded Tsuna a little hesitantly, knowing that Tsuna was still horrifically tense around the other man.

He couldn't blame him. Check ups every week spread to every month. There had been no sign of the disease yet – to Gokudera's extreme relief – but he wasn't about to relax and allow Tsuna's death to happen again… no matter what.

"What will happen… when it happens?" Tsuna asked, his voice hesitating and weak, obviously unsure and scared.

"When it happens, I'll cure you. That's it," Gokudera declared, tilting Tsuna's head up and claiming the other boy's lips as he had so many hundreds of thousands of times in the past eight months.

Tsuna turned in his arms, now lying chest-to-chest with him, and Gokudera ran his hands along the Decimo's back, under the other teen's shirt and gently stroked along the taut, tanned flesh there.

"You're so beautiful, Tsuna," Gokudera whispered against the Decimo's lips, and smiled as Tsuna turned bright red.

Instead of answering, Tsuna just started kissing him again, his tongue flustered and clumsy. Gokudera smirked against his precious person's lips and used his hands – returned from their journey beneath the threads of Tsuna's shirt – to guide the other boy's mouth and to gently stroke along his jaw, calming down and soothing nerves that he knew he'd frayed.

"M-maybe… maybe soon we can…" Tsuna stated, his eyes wide and scared, but with a hint of determination that Gokudera found highly endearing.

"We can…?" Gokudera trailed off, confused at what Tsuna was hinting at.

"We can… I mean…" Tsuna blushed scarlet and gently ground his body down on Gokudera's, making the other boy moan as his hips instinctively thrust up to meet the teasing pressure of Tsuna's body.

"Oh…" Gokudera panted, attempting to calm his body down – which was no easy task, considering that Tsuna was still sprawled all over him – while his mind ran rampant with all the thoughts of what 'maybe we can…' could entail.

"But… something still feels wrong… off… I don't understand," Tsuna frowned, placing his head on Gokudera's chest and gently running his fingers down the corded muscles of Gokudera's arm.

The silver-haired man nodded his understanding. Despite everything, despite how perfect everything was, with Tsuna, with him, something felt… strange, as though this weren't the natural way of things.

Gokudera glanced around his abode, noting that there were almost as many things of Tsuna's here as there were his own. He didn't generally have a lot of junk strewn around, preferring to keep things minimal and orderly in case he needed to leave in a hurry, but that hadn't really mattered a lot in the past year, and gradually Tsuna had started to move things in and clutter up his precious space.

"Y'know… I think…" Tsuna trailed off, fingers clenching in the material of Gokudera's shirt, and Gokudera allowed his arms to tighten around Tsuna's shoulders to hold him tighter.

"Hmm?" Gokudera asked, looking at the clock beside the couch to make sure of what time it was so that they weren't late.

"I think… I think I love you…" Tsuna stated, and Gokudera felt his entire body draw tight as a wire.

Love… love… love… love… love…

Tsuna loved him.

"It-it's okay if you don't yet… I mean—I mean, if you don't, that is… it's not really, I don't expect you to… not if you don't want to-!" Tsuna trailed off, stammering and fumbling for words.

"Okay," Gokudera breathed, his mind completely dysfunctional and unable to dig its talons into a single functional train of thought. Everything was just a rambling, twisting, malformed mess.

"I guess we should get ready," Tsuna said, gently climbing off of Gokudera's body and grabbing his jacket from where it had fallen on the ground.

"Okay…" Gokudera agreed, his voice tight and his mind a train wreck.

"Should I call a taxi?" Tsuna asked, looking at him, but Gokudera wasn't seeing him – wasn't seeing anything currently present in the room.

"…Okay," Gokudera nodded, hearing nothing, seeing nothing.

"…Okay…" Tsuna nodded, and Gokudera felt like the world had opened up to swallow him whole.

Tsuna loved him… and all he wanted to do was cry.

Love was a damaging emotion.

Love made you weak, made you dysfunctional, took everything good on the planet and warped it into flowers and sunshine – so easily crushed under foot and drowned by rain.

He didn't want to love… he had never wanted to love.

He'd declared love to be a monster, like something under your bed that you could hide from your entire life if you were skilled enough.

Gokudera attempted to ignore the itchy feeling of Tsuna's hand in his – something that had once been so comfortable – and turned away, fumbling with his left hand for a cigarette.

"We're about to enter the hospital… you know that they're just going to make you put it out," Tsuna reminded him in a teasing tone.

"Then I'll meet you later, I'm going to the roof," Gokudera declared, letting go of Tsuna's hand and feeling instant relief from the itchy sensation, his skin no longer attempting to crawl off his body, and he didn't turn back to see what was most definitely a hurt look on Tsuna's face.

He couldn't… not now… not… not ever.

His shaking digits brought the smoke to his lips and he winced at the taste – so different from Tsuna's lips – and he attempted to avoid thinking about his shitty situation for a few seconds.


	12. Chapter 12, Interlude 3

The room was… awkward.

The silence was deafening and neither participant in the non-conversation knew what to do about it.

"Still negative?" Tsuna asked, and Byakuran nodded, his lips tightening in frustration.

How much longer did they have?

Without a sample, they couldn't study it, couldn't make progress… how much longer did they – and therefore Tsuna – have?

"Do you know… when I came down with the disease?" Tsuna asked, looking small and even more fragile than normal on his perch in the hospital chair where Byakuran had just removed another three vials of blood for study.

"No… I'm afraid I never got the chance to study it," Byakuran admitted, turning away and thinking of the empty picture on his mantle.

"Oh…" Tsuna trailed off. "How… how did you find out about my death?"

Byakuran froze, thinking about how to answer that question without answering it. "You're the Vongola Decimo, it wasn't as though the underworld wasn't aware of it within minutes, and you had been sick for… some time before your death," Byakuran spouted off quickly enough that it didn't taste like the bitter half-truth it was.

"You're lying," Tsuna declared. "Well… maybe not lying, but you're not telling me the truth either."

"Hyper-intuition," Byakuran sighed, remembering it in splotches from his delving into the future, and in past interactions with this Tsuna as well.

"I also get to know when people are lying to me pretty quickly as well…" Tsuna trailed off, looking away with what looked like tears in his eyes, and then he looked back and his lips were trembling. "Do you… do you think I'm… attractive?"

"What?" Byakuran was taken off guard, not expecting that question in this current conversation.

"When you tell… when someone says… 'I love you'… don't you usually answer with something other than… 'okay'?" Tsuna asked, his voice trembling and his body shaking with suppressed tears.

"Ah… Goku-chan has never been very good with-," Byakuran was cut off by a harsh chuckle.

"Don't… what do you know about Gokudera?" Tsuna bit out, his voice angry and frustrated.

"I know enough to understand," Byakuran shrugged. "I have been around him a considerable amount in the past year as well, Decimo."

"Not like me," Tsuna objected.

"Not yet," Byakuran sighed under his breath, far too quietly for Tsuna to have heard. He turned around and faced the Decimo head on, ready to move on, so… so ready to move on. "Do you trust me, Decimo?"

"No," Tsuna answered with narrowed, watery eyes.

"I didn't think so," Byakuran sighed, but moved forward and sealed his lips over Tsuna's in one swift movement, so quick that Tsuna had absolutely no ability to dodge or move away – not that he even tried.

Byakuran lifted Tsuna from the chair and lifted him up, wrapping the teen's legs around his waist and dragging him from the room. They stumbled into a nearby closet as Byakuran continued ravaging his lips, biting and sucking and driving Tsuna wild.

"Do you love me?" Byakuran hissed, his fingers diving beneath Tsuna's shirt to twist a nipple and drag a tortured gasp of air from Tsuna's swollen red lips.

"No!" Tsuna howled, crying out louder as Byakuran sealed his lips over his pulse-point and bit down, sucking hard enough to leave an obvious mark.

"And yet you let me do these things?" Byakuran asked, his mind going manic with the idea of having Tsuna in his arms as he had in his future memories… of that pliant body bending to his whims as Tsuna begged and sobbed for more, all the while making the most delightful sounds and driving everyone within hearing distance crazy with lust.

"I-I—I can't think!" Tsuna cried out, his hands reaching above his head to latch onto one of the shelves, exposing his tummy to Byakuran's hungry eyes.

"And why should you?" Byakuran sighed as he pushed Tsuna's shirt up and latched onto one of those pert nipples with his mouth. "Thinking is highly overrated."

"Nnngh!" Tsuna gasped, his body arching into Byakuran's every touch.

"Has Goku-chan never touched you? Your body is so starved…" Byakuran reflected, his feathery-light touches seeming to raise goose-bumps at every touch.

"I… I didn't let him…" Tsuna admitted, turning his face to the side to hide his shame.

"And yet you'd let me?" Byakuran said, lapping at the nipple he'd just abused so roughly with his teeth.

"It's different… it's… I don't… I don't understand!" Tsuna sobbed, tears once more springing to his eyes.

Byakuran stopped, the tears on Tsuna's face breaking whatever little was left of his heart.

He replaced the Decimo's shirt back into its proper place and gathered Tsuna's traumatized form into his arms.

"Hush, Tsuna… hush," Byakuran sighed, stroking his hair and being far too gentle for someone who had once killed him in another life.

"I don't understand… I don't… I don't…" Tsuna hiccupped and stammered.

"It's alright… you don't have to understand yet," Byakuran assured him.

"But… if I don't understand, how can I understand why Gokudera doesn't love me?" Tsuna asked, his teary eyes pleading. "I'm… I think… he tells me I'm beautiful… and if I'm attractive, and if he… he holds me and touches me, and it _feels_ like he loves me…"

"Goku-chan… does love you," Byakuran stated, remembering the days of watching his two lovers curled up together, fingers laced, bodies intertwined and lips sealed in a desperate, soul-stealing kiss. Yes… his lovers had very much been in love with one another – and him.

"How can you know that when I don't?" Tsuna begged, latching his hands into the front of Byakuran's shirt and shaking him slightly, trying desperately to understand what Byakuran seemed to know so completely.

"We all have our gifts. Goku-chan's love for you is so obvious, I would have thought it to be no match for your hyper-intuition," Byakuran deflected, not wanting to spoil his own secret.

"You're hiding again," Tsuna declared, and his lips pressed together in frustration. "You're lying. You _know_ something, and you've known it since before you went to Gokudera. You wouldn't be trying to save me if it meant the end of the world… the world's going to end regardless of whether or not I'm alive – maybe not within the next ten years… but still. I don't think my death resulted in the fire and brimstone you make it out to be."

Byakuran sucked in a breath as that brilliant mind was turned on him and he felt naked and exposed beneath its glaring intensity.

"I meant something to you… and Gokudera meant something to you. That's why you focused on us, that's why you never told anyone else… or even let anyone else know you were around – not even Shoichi," Tsuna declared, frowning and obviously frustrated. "Were we… did we…?"

"Hush," Byakuran placed his finger against Tsuna's searching lips and hung his head. "That's enough for today."

Standing up, depositing Tsuna on his own two feet, Byakuran led the way from the room, and started heading towards the roof, and Tsuna was helpless but to follow and stew in what his own musings had managed to dig up.


	13. Chapter 13

Gokudera had been alone for nearly two hours, his hands steady and calm by now as he raised one of his last three cigarettes to his lips.

In recent times, he'd been smoking less – his addiction to Tsuna far more delectable – so his smokes were stale and he'd only had enough to chain them for a few minutes before he'd had to slow down.

Still, the nicotine was working its magic and he felt his entire body go into a familiar numb state that let him think, which was useful considering his situation.

Tsuna loved him.

Did he love Tsuna?

_Could_ he love Tsuna?

Another drag.

Yes… he could love Tsuna… in a way, he had already loved – devotion, perhaps? – Tsuna since the day they'd met. He'd be willing to do anything for the other boy with a simple word… anything but…

Love…

His parents… they'd… loved each other… right?

Wincing, he placed a hand to his forehead and attempted to will away the headache that was starting to creep up on him. He took another drag and ran a frustrated hand through his hair.

Tsuna wanted to… Tsuna wanted to finally go past that last step, the final doorway… to open himself completely, but he just…

Love…

The word made his skin tingle unpleasantly and his head swim. Just the idea of someone loving him made him want to run screaming in the other direction, while the idea of loving someone else was equated to nothing more than suicide.

Love.

"I…. can't love…" he whispered, his voice rough with emotion and a harsh quality invaded his tone and transformed it into something he didn't even recognize.

Stupidly enough, the only thing he wanted to do right now was to talk to his sister… his stupid, freakish half-sister who lived to poison him… but she'd known his parents. She'd been old enough to understand what he couldn't. She said that they'd loved one another… she said that…

"Goddamnit," he muttered in frustration, finishing his third to last cigarette and pulling out the second to last, staring at it for a few moments and not lighting it.

Bianchi was frustrating, ignorant, stupid and… and the only person who… who had ever understood him completely. She understood him when he ditched their lessons, understood his strengths – his weaknesses. Yet… she wasn't alone in that anymore. It was no longer _only_ because Tsuna…

"But… do I love him?" Gokudera asked himself for the millionth time, pacing in a circle as his fingers worried the cigarette between them and his other hand tapped out an irritated rhythm on his leg.

He didn't even question the fact that Tsuna was male… it wouldn't have mattered if Tsuna was male, female or a rock on the ground. He… he wanted Tsuna, he… adored and idolized the boy. Tsuna was his life's blood, without Tsuna… he wouldn't exist.

"I… I want him… I need him… does that mean…?" Gokudera asked no one, looking around as if begging someone to just tell him whether or not his emotions actually solidified into love or whether they were just… something else, something in passing.

"No! I will never leave the Decimo, he is… he is…"

Tsuna… is…

"I… l-l-l-lo-o-o-v…" Gokudera choked on the word, gagging on the emotional context and his own hang-ups.

The door opened behind him, but he didn't hear it above the sound of waves in his head.

"I love… I love… I can love… I can feel… I love… him… I love… I will love, I can love. I do love… I am in love with—" he broke off, staring off into the city in complete astonishment as the cigarette dropped numbly from his fingers.

"I love Tsuna," he declared, more to himself than anything, the words nearly carried away on the breeze. "I love him…"

He heard a soft sound behind him, shocking him out of his daze and he turned to see Byakuran and Tsuna standing there.

Tsuna had tears in his eyes and his lips were puckered as though attempting to hold back from saying something. Byakuran's hand was on Tsuna's arm – restraining the boy from running to him.

"I love you," Gokudera said, not meaning to have said the words at all, but the arrival of his precious person jolted his soul and begged him to just say it already.

"I think I already knew," Tsuna said, moving forward and embracing the other boy tightly. "I just… needed to hear it."

"I love you…" Gokudera breathed out, as much for himself as for Tsuna.

"Okay…" Tsuna agreed, nodding and leaning up to kiss Gokudera like he would die without it.

"Okay…" Gokudera agreed and returned to kissing his lover breathless.


	14. Chapter 14

They were back in Gokudera's flat before either of them bothered breaking the comfortable silence that echoed in the wake of Gokudera's confession. Tsuna spent the night there more often than not nowadays, so it wasn't a big issue. He was a big boy now, and Maman while initially uncomfortable in allowing her precious seventeen year old boy to more or less move into his boyfriend's house broke down with some well-placed begging.

"So…" Tsuna trailed off, his ears beet red and his body trembling slightly.

"So…" Gokudera said, his voice barely above a whisper and his heart in his throat.

"Umm…" Tsuna squeezed Gokudera's hand lightly and Gokudera felt his own ears start flaming.

They looked at each other and then away abruptly, their hands squeezing tightly, insistent and hot, even if the cold room.

Gokudera's words were swallowed by his dry throat and he licked his lips slightly to drag moisture over what felt like cracked, parched skin.

He felt like he jumped a mile in the air when one of Tsuna's hands tentatively reached up and pushed some hair out of his face. He ceased breathing for a moment as the other boy stepped into his vision, eyes confused and pleading for direction.

"…Hi…" Tsuna began, releasing Gokudera's hand and lacing his fingers up around the silver-haired man's neck instead.

"…Hi…" Gokudera managed to squeak out, feeling completely out of his area of expertise.

"So… so… are we going to… um… that is… tonight… or are we…?" Tsuna's face was vermillion by the time he was done and Gokudera knew his own was just as bright.

"Do you know how… I mean, I've never…" Gokudera stammered, his hands fluttering at Tsuna's sides and gradually managed to rest on the other boy's hips, even as he felt like Tsuna's skin was burning his through three layers of material.

Three… three if Tsuna was wearing underwear, but what if he wasn't?

_Oh shit_… if anymore blood rushed to his face, he was going to pass out.

"I've… looked it up… I guess, I mean, I was curious and…" Tsuna admitted, his face gradually fading and then flushing again when the boy's eyes met his own again.

"Oh…" Gokudera choked out, knowing that sweet oblivion was a few seconds away.

Tsuna had looked it up… Tsuna had wanted… it… _oh shit_…

"I'm going to…" Gokudera attempted to warn as his knees gave out and he collapsed backwards, dragging Tsuna on top of him.

"EEK!" Tsuna shrieked, howling with laughter as he landed on the as-of-yet-non-functioning form of Gokudera, who couldn't help but let out a chortle of his own.

"This is awful…" Gokudera moaned out, hiding his flaming face in Tsuna's large mass of hair.

"Kinda, yeah…" Tsuna admitted, his own fingers laced in Gokudera's hair as he shifted and found a comfortable perch above Gokudera's hips.

Gokudera had a few more seconds of peace before he realized that his hands were once more on Tsuna's waist and that Tsuna was staring at him intently.

"Ggrkle!" Gokudera put forth eloquently as Tsuna pressed his lower body down, directly against Gokudera's crotch, which instantly jerked up to meet the pressure.

"I… read about this too… this position that is… and sooner or later…" Tsuna trailed off, his face still red, but his eyes frustrated and curious and… determined.

"P-p-p-position…?" Gokudera gasped out, attempting to regain a few brain cells in his considerable stock, but unable to so much as remember to breathe as Tsuna lowered himself so that they were face-to-face.

"Mhm…" Tsuna nodded, his large eyes wide and expressive as always. They overwhelmed the obsessed second's vision and what should have been a blurry image was so clear it almost burned. "Kiss me?"

Gokudera nodded helplessly and traced his hands up from Tsuna's hips to his hair, lacing into the strands and brought Tsuna's mouth into connection with his own.

_Oh shit…_


	15. Chapter 15

They didn't even manage to stumble into Gokudera's bedroom before Tsuna's shirt went flying, followed swiftly by Gokudera's outer shirt, and then his under.

"Tsuna…" Gokudera moaned as the other boy pinched of his nipples gently. "Wha-?"

Tsuna hushed him by kissing him fiercely and Gokudera allowed the silencing move, far too distracted to really have put up much more than a token protest anyway.

As they made the last floundering steps, Gokudera gladly allowed his idol to push him back on the bed, and sat stunned when Tsuna crawled over him, his fly undone and his eyes burning so brightly that he could almost swear that the Decimo was in Hyper Dying Will mode.

"H-how…?" Gokudera fumbled, realizing that his lack of knowledge was a fairly bad thing in this situation.

It wasn't that he hadn't expected this to happen sometime, but he didn't… and he thought that there'd be more time… and where the fuck was his cellphone so he could check the goddamned internet for answers?

All of a sudden, Gokudera's flailing mind was interrupted by gales of laughter from the Decimo as Tsuna collapsed in a fit of giggles on his chest.

"Tsu..na?" Gokudera stammered, confused and stunned.

"You… you look so… so lost and… and it's so funny… I don't think I've ever seen you look so completely out of it before," Tsuna said, his eyes wet with hysterical tears. "Do you want to wait?"

"…Wait?" Gokudera asked, not understanding what Tsuna was referring to.

"Did you want me to give you a few minutes so you can look up gay sex on the internet and not be so confused?" Tsuna asked, his smile bright and cheerful despite the embarrassing nature of his question.

Naturally, the silver-haired second turned bright red at the insinuation.

"Well… I… I just… I don't… really know what… and I don't want to hurt… and…" Gokudera fumbled, his words tripping over his lips before he could think or focus.

"It's okay…" Tsuna leaned forward, chest against chest, nose to nose and his smile continued to beam.

This time, when Tsuna kissed him, it was more like warm tide that spread slowly over his body, relaxing unknown, too tense muscles and easing a few of his overactive nerves.

"I love you," Tsuna whispered, pressing their cheeks together for a second before bouncing off of him and heading to the bathroom.

Gokudera was… he was… that is… and…

"Ugh!" he grunted, hiding his face in his hands when he realized that his own stupidity had just fucked him over in his pursuit of bedding the boy… man… teenager? Whatever, the person that he loved with his entire heart.. and he was out of cigarettes too.

Fuck.

"Tsuna… I'm… I'm going out to the store," Gokudera yelled, and grabbed his clothes off the floor, and his jacket from the living room where it had been pushed off in the early stages of their… of their… well… umm…

His face flushed again as he yanked on his jacket.

"Can you pick up some condoms while you're out?" Tsuna asked, his voice quiet and so extremely embarrassed sounding that Gokudera felt his own embarrassment echo off of Tsuna's.

"Uh… yeah… is that… I mean, do I need anything… else?" Gokudera swallowed harshly against the ball in his throat.

"M-maybe some… lubricant?" Tsuna was red, so red that it was nearly impossible to tell the difference between him and the sweater on his shoulders – Gokudera's that he'd thrown in the bathroom hamper this morning.

"Ah, right… okay, lubricant and… condoms and…" he stammered and felt his heart seize in embarrassment. "Holy shit…"

"…Yeah…" Tsuna agreed, nodding and shuffling awkwardly.

"Did you want anything… I mean, in like… the way of… uh…" Gokudera attempted to get his thoughts straight.

"Maybe some ice cream?" Tsuna asked, his face troubled for a second. "I've heard it hurts the first time, and… well, ice cream makes everything better."

"…Right…" Gokudera choked, his face red once more.

As Tsuna shifted again, Gokudera followed the line of the other boy's body to where Tsuna's pants were tight over a particularly questionable bulge in his pants.

"Oh… I… um… I'm sorry…" Gokudera stammered, turning away and stumbling towards the door.

"Gokudera!" Tsuna called, but the silver-haired man didn't listen, his ears plugged by his own sounds of failure.

Not only could he not admit to the one person on earth he loved that he loved him, he couldn't even fucking have sex without freezing like a completely incompetent fucktard.

"SHIT!" Gokudera screamed at the top of his lungs, bolting like a bat out of hell – not even closing the door behind himself – as he tore through the streets and over to the local supermarket.

To make matters worse, once he got there, he realized that he'd left his fucking wallet in the sweater that Tsuna was wearing, and that he had a) no money, and b) no ID to buy such questionable things as condoms and lube.

"Fuck… fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!" Gokudera snarled, storming through the ice cream isle even as he knew that he wouldn't be able to buy any of it.

A random turn sent him down the candy isle, and he could see the smokes lined up against the wall dead in front of him. Great… he couldn't even buy fucking cigarettes, what he'd stormed out of the goddamned house for in the first place.

He'd stormed out of the house.

Fuck…

Tsuna was probably furious.

Double fuck…

And he didn't have money for ice cream…

Was there even any point to going home?

"Did you need some help?" a devilishly amused voice asked in his ear.

"GAH!" Gokudera screamed as he jumped away his hand with all his rings, already glowing with power, placed over his heart to still its rapid beating. "Holy shit, you stupid sonuvabitch, I nearly killed you!"

Byakuran snorted at that comment. "Even without my rings, I'm sure I can avoid a simple attack," the man brushed him off like nothing.

"Right," Gokudera deadpanned and then blinked in confusion. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Apparently being a knight in shining armor," Byakuran rolled his eyes and stepped forward to the counter where Gokudera was eyeing cigarettes like they were his last lifeline on earth.

Gokudera was somewhat speechless when Byakuran bought him a pack of smokes almost absently, like he'd done it millions of times before. He knew the brand, the colour, the style… fuck… how the hell did Byakuran know all that shit? The man never followed him up to the roof…

"Thanks…" Gokudera muttered, thinking it probably had something to do with that freaky future-vision of his and attempted to push his confusion away.

"Is that all you came here for?" Byakuran asked casually as he walked back down the candy isle and plucked out a few bags of marshmallows.

"Eh… no, actually…" Gokudera trailed off, anger keeping his blush away as frustration ached in his heart.

"What else is there?" Byakuran asked, scanning his face as though he would be able to find the answers there.

"Well… Tsuna wanted some ice cream… he likes vanilla, and… well…" he trailed off and felt the blush he'd been keeping at bay brush at his nose.

"Oh… so that's why…" Byakuran chortled. "I was wondering how it was you were out of your house with you two looking so very… captivated earlier."

"Fuck off," Gokudera snarled, blush rising further.

"Hardly… it seems so counter-productive. Did you have a preference?" Byakuran asked as he moved past the cigarette wall and motioned to where all the lubes and condoms were.

Gokudera felt the shock invade his face as he realized for the first time just how many options he had.

"Uh… no… I mean…" he rambled, scanning the boxes from afar and hoping that one would jump out at him.

"I suggest these, and this," Byakuran lifted out a plain looking box of condoms with a fairly ordinary bottle of lubricant.

"…Thanks…" Gokudera frowned, still blushing furiously, but surprised at how… mild and non-teasing Byakuran was being about this entire situation.

"As you get more adventurous, I also suggest those," Byakuran motioned towards a few flavored condoms and lubricants. "They can make things… interesting."

"Umm… okay…" Gokudera responded, flustered and a little less frustrated.

"Shall we?" Byakuran motioned towards the till and Gokudera nodded, gathering up his three items and taking a steeling breath so as to not pass out from embarrassment.

He was buying condoms and lubricant.

He was buying condoms and lubricant so he could go home and have sex with Tsuna.

He was going to have sex with Tsuna.

He was preparing for sex… with Tsuna.

Tsuna…

Holy shit he was about to have sex with Tsuna.

"Are you going to faint?" Byakuran asked him as they got nearer to the till.

"Maybe…" Gokudera admitted without thinking and struggled to keep his stomach contents where they were while standing straight.

"I've never seen someone so terrified at the aspect of intercourse before," Byakuran admitted, a small laugh on the edge of his lips.

"It's… Tsuna… it's not just someone random. It's Tsuna…" Gokudera said, as though that explained everything, and to him, it did.

"Love always complicates matters, I suppose," Byakuran conceded and went through the simple process of paying for Gokudera's things.

"I'll… I'll pay you back next time… next appointment, that is," Gokudera said, motioning towards the things Byakuran had bought for him, which were placed into a bag and hung off his hand.

"Don't worry about it. The fantasies are payment enough," Byakuran stated and Gokudera glowed red again.

"Bastard," he hissed, shuffling a bit and glancing towards Byakuran out of the corner of his eye as they left the store.

Just as the other man was about to turn and head in the other direction, Gokudera realized something very important.

Byakuran was gay.

"Wait!" Gokudera called, and nearly choked when Byakuran did what he was asked to do. "Uh…"

"Yes?" Byakuran asked with a raised eyebrow.

"How… how do I… How do men have sex?" Gokudera asked, his face flaming in embarrassment and curiosity.

Byakuran smiled at him in a most lecherous way and Gokudera felt his toes curl in unwanted appreciation of the look. For some stupid reason, his skin crawled and his breath caught.

"I thought you'd never ask," Byakuran stated and Gokudera suddenly found himself rocketing backwards into an alleyway, Byakuran half-pushing, half-guiding his body back as the silver-haired man's mind spun in confusion.

"Wait…!" Gokudera cried, but was cut off with the sudden presence of tongue in his mouth.

"No," Byakuran breathed against his mouth and continued kissing him.

The tongue wasn't unpleasant, in fact, if he were being perfectly honest with himself, it felt wonderful. It felt like… like with Tsuna, except that Byakuran already knew so many more steps than the both of them combined, so many different tricks and places that he touched in just the right way to send shivers trailing down his back.

His fingers numbly dropped the bag of stuff as they attempted to wind into Byakuran's jacket.

"You taste delectable," Byakuran whispered against his ear as he bit the lobe and sent Gokudera's knees into a gelatin state.

"Ungh…" Gokudera moaned, arching his back as Byakuran stroked him through his pants and clenching his eyes shut against the feelings of pleasure shooting up his spine.

"That's right, Hayato… feel…" Byakuran purred and Gokudera felt his spine jerk at the sound of his given name being said in such a tone.

"Ah!" he cried as a particularly sensitive jerk of the bastard's hand sent his mind spinning and his knees finally gave out completely.

Byakuran supported him between his body and the wall, the man's hand expertly winding its way into his pants and surrounding his cock in heat.

"Nngh! D-don't…!" Gokudera tried to fend the other man off, but Byakuran's insisted hand soon had him thrusting into its grasp, the man's tongue playing along his pulse point and making his entire body hum.

"Doesn't it feel good just to let go?" Byakuran asked in a teasing tone of voice, and Gokudera couldn't help but agree in a small part of his mind, even as his body attempted to resist, although the entire idea of resistance seemed so pointless right now.

"…Please!" Gokudera moaned as he felt so fucking close… so close… so goddamned close…

"Almost…" Byakuran whispered, and then used his second hand to lower Gokudera's pants further, dropping them down to his ankles, and then spread the boy's thighs slightly.

"Wha-?" Gokudera came back to himself slightly at the obscenely awkward angle, but then lost all stream of consciousness again when that hand went back to playing with his sensitive body.

"To have intercourse with another male, you must prepare their body. Unlike most females, men require lubrication and relaxation of their entrance in order to proceed with minimal pain and discomfort," Byakuran instructed, his fingers teasing at Gokudera's anus for a second, the dry digits sending thrills of sensation through the silver-haired man's spine.

"Ah!" Gokudera cried a particularly clever stroke of Byakuran's hand distracted him for a second, and then in the next, the fingers were back at his entrance, but this time they were… wet, _lubricated_.

"Start with one finger," Byakuran continued, his actions reflecting his word as Gokudera felt a finger insert itself into his body. "Depending on the person you're preparing, use a smaller finger if necessary. I have started with my index in this case… I think you can handle it."

Gokudera grunted against the strange sensation, but couldn't help his body's response to the still-stroking hand on his cock as the finger started moving within him. It only took him a minute to get used to the feeling and to start moving naturally with the appendage within him.

"Once the one you're preparing is sufficiently used to that finger, move on to the next," Byakuran stated, and Gokudera let out a small pained sound as a second finger inserted itself into his body. "As you insert more fingers, the discomfort will grow, but with time, the body becomes used to it. It is generally a good idea to be… distracting the one being stretched."

And distract he did, Gokudera realized, as Byakuran's other hand started stroking faster while the fingers in his ass scissored and spread him. The dual sensations of pain and pleasure were driving him crazy and he didn't know if his body was hurting or feeling so much pleasure that it just felt like pain.

"As your body becomes accustomed to the intrusion of another, it becomes more satisfactory, like being filled or coming home… and eventually…" Byakuran stabbed his fingers in deep and Gokudera saw stars. "One should be able to find another's prostrate, which is the entire reason that men have sex in the first place."

"Oh… holy fuck… holy shit… Please!" Gokudera scrambled, fingers struggling for grip as Byakuran continued to stab his fingers into that place over and over again.

His spine was ramrod straight, almost arching backwards as his body tried desperately to maintain contact with those searching fingers while his hips attempted to thrust into the hand stroking him.

"If you insist," Byakuran grinned like a Cheshire cat and removed his fingers from Gokudera's ass to lift him up the wall and undid the fly on his pants – he wasn't wearing boxers.

"What?" Gokudera asked, his mind in a pleasure-filled daze.

"Shh… just feel," Byakuran insisted, and Gokudera's mouth opened in a shout as the man entered into his prepared body, slowly at first, but gradually gaining speed.

It… it _hurt_ it felt like he was being ripped open.

"Get the fuck out of me!" Gokudera hissed, nails ripping holes into Byakuran's shirt.

What the fuck was he doing? What the fuck was going on! How the fuck could he have let this happen!

"It's far too late for turning back now," Byakuran taunted, biting his ear and moving his hips, sending shockwaves of pain down Gokudera's back.

"Get out, get out, get out…" Gokudera chanted, biting his cheek and attempting to hold back his cries of pain.

"The first time is always the most uncomfortable, but you'll get used to the pain and decide whether or not it's worth the pleasure," Byakuran assured him, and Gokudera was about to tell him to go fuck himself if he thought this was pleasurable, when the man's cock managed to hit that place inside him that his fingers had been stroking not but seconds before.

His vision blurred and his hips jerked instinctively into the motion.

"Right there, hmm?" Byakuran teased, biting his ear again and carefully aiming his hips for that one spot that made Gokudera let out pitiful, sobbing noises of pleasure while his talons – once digging to cause pain – were now scratching in encouragement, need.

"Ah!" Gokudera cried out as his body was mercilessly plundered, Byakuran dragging out sounds that he would have never believed he could make if he weren't hearing them with his own ears.

"When you come, I want you to call my name," Byakuran instructed, thrusting harder and moving a hand from the wall behind him to start stroking his cock vigorously.

Gokudera didn't even have time to think of it, his lips forming Byakuran's name as he proceeded to empty himself over the man's stomach with the questionable feeling of the man's cock emptying its load into his own ass.

"And that, Hayato… is how men have sex," Byakuran stated, lesson finished, as they both leaned against the wall and attempted to catch their breath.


	16. Chapter 16, Interlude 4

Gokudera felt completely displaced. His body was humming with the after-effects of sex, but his mind was screaming and wailing like a trapped beast in a cage.

He'd just had sex… for the first time… with a man…

And that man wasn't Tsuna.

And he was walking home with someone else's come dribbling down his leg.

He stopped walking again, leaning over a random ledge to vomit on some poor bastard's lawn.

He'd just had sex with a man who wasn't Tsuna on the night that he and his beloved had finally gained the balls to admit what they'd known since they started dating… and now he was going home with half-melted ice cream, condoms and lubricant.

"Oh fuck…" Gokudera moaned, walking a few steps away from his vomit and collapsing on the ground in a shaking mess.

It hurt… it hurt so fucking badly that he barely wanted to move. He didn't know if Byakuran had ripped him or if… or if it really just hurt this badly every time, but holy fuck…

Tsuna was probably mad as a fucking hornet… he'd been almost three hours just to get the simple things that the other had asked for. Gokudera wouldn't blame him if the other boy wanted to rip his head off.

Hell, at this point, he'd gladly offer it up on a platter.

How the fuck did this _happen_?

Gokudera dropped his bag of stuff beside him and ground his palms into his eyes, rubbing the painful orbs roughly and attempting to convince himself that tears weren't the best way to express oneself in this situation.

"Oh shit…" he breathed, feeling absolutely distraught in his little puddle of pain and angst.

He couldn't even curl himself into a ball, the position hurt too much.

"Oh… oh shit…" Gokudera continued moaning as his entire body felt like it was breaking down around him.

"Goku…dera…! Gokudera! Where are you!" he heard someone calling, and he turned to see Tsuna blearily out of the corner of his vision. The other boy was still clad in his sweater and had his cell phone in his had.

He looked frantic, almost panicked, and Gokudera didn't have the heart to call out for him. How the hell was he supposed to reach out to someone when he'd betrayed them so utterly?

Crawling as best he could, he attempted to get into the shadow of one of the nearby fences, blocking Tsuna out from his vision and hopefully also blocking himself from the other boy's. He didn't have the energy required to run at the moment and couldn't even imagine facing his most precious person.

His fingers dug into the ground until he felt pain and knew that the tips would be bleeding.

He grit his teeth to hold back his mantra for the evening and pressed his face against the wall behind him, the rough concrete striking some life back into his brain.

Where the fuck was he intending to go from here?

Was he just going to sleep here tonight like some homeless fucktard?

Well, actually…

"Gokudera!" Tsuna wailed, the other boy having caught sight of him and the silver-haired man flinched, his entire body tensing in the unwanted attention. "Oh… oh my God…"

"D-don't!" Gokudera held up a hand – the one that he'd managed to bloody up only seconds ago.

"Gokudera!" Tsuna cried over and over again, falling to his knees and fluttering over him like some mothering butterfly that couldn't figure out which wound to settle on first. "I-I'll call someone… I'll get you some help… what happened! No, don't… I mean, it doesn't matter… I'll just…"

Tsuna was fumbling with his phone before he could stop him, dialing buttons at random.

"H-hello? Yes… no, please… not right now. I know you're busy, I know… I know I haven't kept in contact… please, don't do this… I just… no… it's Gokudera, he's… yes, it's family. Please… please, don't hang up… I think… I think he's really hurt," Tsuna begged into the phone, his eyes tearing up and his voice breaking every couple of words.

Gokudera was helpless to stop the other boy, his body so weak and depleted that all he could possibly do was sit there and stare off as Tsuna tried to save him so desperately.

All he could think of was how he wished he could just die and get it over and done with.

Tsuna hung up the phone and crawled over to him again, grabbing his wounded hand and holding it loosely, gently in his hand.

"Everything's gonna be okay…" Tsuna promised him, tears rushing down his cheeks and eyes so scared and panicked that Gokudera couldn't help a small, weak smile at the boy.

Nothing was going to be okay again.


	17. Chapter 17, Interlude 5

The black limo seemed to pull out of no where, the shadows simply peeling back to reveal its darkened splendor to the world.

The door opened and a blond man with heavy tattooing on his arms and a small child waited further inside.

"Tsuna…" the blond man said, his voice rough with concern and confusion.

Tsuna turned around, his eyes sore and his face drenched. Gokudera had passed out a few minutes ago, so it was just him, holding the other man's hand while trying not to break down himself.

"Dino!" Tsuna cried, latching onto his savior as he clawed at the man's suit and attempted to reach back for Gokudera at the same time. "I don't know what happened… he's… he's hurt and his hands and I don't know where or why and what! He was just going to the store, and then he didn't come home, and he didn't bring his wallet… or his keys or his cell or anything, so I was going to bring it to him, but when I got there he'd already left and then I started looking and that was _hours_ ago and now he's—"

"Shut up, Tsuna," the small child in the car uttered with a heavy slap to the boy's cheek.

"Uh…" Tsuna groaned, holding his cheek and closing his eyes against another flood of tears.

"I see you've gotten weak in my absence," the boy mumbled. "Perhaps I should return to Japan for awhile."

"Give him some slack, Reborn… it's not like this is an everyday occurrence," the blond man muttered, gathering the balling Tsuna in his arms and motioning to his men to lift Gokudera into the car.

"It could be. Being in the mafia isn't a love story," Reborn reminded them both for the millionth time. "War happens, injuries happen. If he can't deal with a simple attack, how is he going to deal with it when his family comes home with bullet holes in their stomachs?"

Tsuna started crying harder and the blond man closed his eyes in annoyance. Reborn had a point, but it wasn't one that he necessarily had to make at this point in time. Tsuna was already beyond upset as was.

Compassion, however, had never been Reborn's strong suit.

"Lets get him home and we can take a look at him, eh Tsuna?" he asked and Tsuna nodded frantically, tripping over himself to get back to the car once Gokudera was fully loaded inside.

"You're too gentle, Dino," Reborn scolded for the millionth time.

"Not all of us are made out of stone, Reborn," Dino shot back, gazing in true sympathy as Tsuna gently combed his fingers through Gokudera's hair and attempted to arrange the seemingly-comatose boy into a comfortable position.

Reborn looked at him for a few moments, his eyes showing his disapproval plainly, but he turned to look at Tsuna and his eyes showed worse disapproval, almost disappointment.

"You never should have gotten involved with your family romantically. It's a recipe for disaster," Reborn scolded.

"I don't choose who I love, Reborn. It's your fault for introducing us," Tsuna shot right back, but his lips were twisted into a mockery of a smile.

"Perhaps," Reborn admitted and climbed into Tsuna's lap, making himself comfortable.

"Aren't you a bit too old to be doing this?" Tsuna asked, but still gathered Reborn closer to his chest and continued petting Gokudera with his other hand.

Reborn didn't respond.

Dino smiled at the strange scene – as he usually did with Reborn involved – and closed the door to the limo, instructing the driver to take them back to Tsuna's house, where Maman could cook them a good meal and they could calm Tsuna down while taking a look at Gokudera.

Outwardly, the other boy didn't appear to have any injuries, but it was obvious from the kid's pale hue and sickly saturation that not all was correct in the world of Gokudera.

It was of dire importance to find out what was wrong, and then choose whether or not to tell Tsuna about it.


	18. Chapter 18, Interlude 6

Gokudera Hayato, as Reborn predicted, was about the only male patient that one Doctor Shamal would treat with little to no hindrance. Sure, he'd put up a token resistance, until Reborn had stated his thoughts behind the boy's injuries.

"Shock… due to forced entry," Reborn had declared like it was a common day event.

"You think he's been raped," Dino repeated, shocked at the very idea of a Guardian of the Vongola Decimo being raped.

Who the hell would have the balls to do such a thing, and why the fuck weren't they dead?

Shamal had developed a pinched look to his face, troubled and annoyed.

"I suppose that makes him female… in a way…" Shamal had grunted in callous examination and walked into the closed-off room that currently held the forms of Gokudera and Tsuna – who had refused to leave the other boy's side.

"Do you think…?" Dino asked, his eyes flashing to the traumatized Tsuna who was being told to leave the room.

"No," Reborn answered shortly, and moved towards the stairs. "Let's go get some cookies and milk."

"Wait for Tsuna," Dino demanded, and was met with a blank look from Reborn.

"Tsuna won't due any better with us babying him. The world isn't kind to those who can't stand up to its winds. He must learn to stand on his own feet. Come on, cookies…" Reborn headed down the stairs and Dino stumbled after him, drawn between his ties to the Vongola Decimo and his awareness of Reborn's words.

Compassion, sympathy, even mercy were decent traits for a mafia boss. Tenderness, however, was bound and destined to be stomped and destroyed. Tenderness was for women, for men who weren't involved in large-scale battles every few months. Tenderness… couldn't be afforded in their world.

Lowering his head in appreciation of Reborn's words, he turned and followed after his trainer into the kitchen, where Reborn was currently beating the shit out of Lambo so he could have the last of the cookies.

Ah… so _that_ was the reason Reborn had wanted to come so quickly.

Dino fished out one of the cookies before Lambo and Reborn could notice and sat cheerfully chewing on it, watching the mayhem for a few minutes, before the loafing footsteps of despair signaled Tsuna's entrance.

"Hey, Tsuna!" Dino greeted with cheer, knowing that it probably wasn't appreciated, but it was necessary. Tsuna couldn't be allowed to stew in whatever raincloud he was attempting to roost in.

"Hey…" Tsuna croaked, his voice drenched in tears and sorrow.

"Eat a cookie, Tsuna. Your mother baked them," Reborn stated, his voice far more threatening than one offering confectionaries should be.

"Thanks, mom…" Tsuna said, grabbing a cookie that Reborn had rightfully won from Lambo before sitting down at the table and proceeding to stare off into space – cookie forgotten.

"Tsu-chan… is Gokudera-kun alright?" his mother asked, stepping close to him and offering him a look that Dino hadn't seen in years. A mother's look. Tsuna was so unlucky to still have his mother. She would only make things worse on him in the long run. There was no way that she would understand the kind of hell her baby was bound to go through.

Dino glanced at Reborn, and recognized the frozen expression of distaste for what it was. Reborn liked mothers, because they baked cookies and babied him due to his young form, but in the same breath… Dino was happy that his own was gone before training had started. He would have hated to have to distance himself so much from his true family.

"I-I don't know…" Tsuna sobbed, burying his face in his mother's waist as he started crying again.

"Gokudera will be fine. He was not injured more than superficially," Reborn assured her.

"Reborn…" Dino attempted, but stopped at the look that the child-but-not gave him.

Rape wasn't an easy thing to deal with. It wasn't something that could just be brushed under the table. Tsuna had no idea… no concept that his precious boyfriend's life as they currently knew it was over. Dino had seen men and women who were completely changed with that one simple act of violence. It was more dangerous than a gunshot, more deadly than cancer.

No one recovered from that violation unchanged.

"Reborn…" Shamal said from the door to the kitchen, where he was looking at them with the blank eyes that made him such a wonderful doctor. Only the slight pinching of his laugh lines declared how serious the situation was.

Dino was grateful… he still didn't have a fucking clue how to tell Tsuna, and knowing Reborn, it probably _would_ be him who'd have to do the telling.

Reborn said nothing as he stepped off the chair he was standing on and followed after the doctor, Dino on his heels. No one bothered to tell Tsuna to come, and Tsuna didn't even try to follow. Dino didn't know if Tsuna even realized Shamal had returned. Oh well, it was for the better that way.

"It's what you figured… but it wasn't rape. Rough for sure, but not forced entry," Shamal stated with a sigh once they were outside. The good doctor leaned against a wall and stared tiredly out at the city. "It was recent… couldn't have been more than an hour or two ago. He's out cold right now, but he'll be awake again within an hour or two. Shock's a bitch."

Reborn nodded. "Did you collect a sample for testing?" Reborn asked, and Dino could sense the cry for retribution in the tutor's voice.

In a way… in a really, really fucked up way, Din understood that Reborn probably considered this a failure. A failure on his part, in not training them to fend off such attacks, a failure on Tsuna's part, for not considering it, but most of all, a failure on Gokudera's part for not defending himself.

While he had sympathy for them, there was no way he was getting involved in this. Reborn's anger was nearly touchable on the air and both Tsuna and Gokudera were going to be in for hell.

"Dino… I will need you to tell Tsuna and train him in my stead," Reborn declared, his voice giving away just a touch of his true emotion, and it was enough to make him want to bend to anything the hitman wanted.

"…Okay…" Dino grunted, thinking of all the things he _had_ had planned and debating the best way to cancel them without offending every mob boss on the planet.

"Shamal, I will need you to talk to Gokudera and get his statement. I'm going to get things ready," Reborn stated, and started walking down the street by himself, more threatening than any three hundred pound muscle-builder.

"They're fucked, huh?" Shamal reflected, watching the hitman leave until Reborn seemed to melt into nothing.

"I don't envy them," Dino agreed. "I guess we have work to do, huh?"

"Always the fun stuff… eh, the life of the sideliner," Shamal sighed.

"I think your job's going to be easier than mine," Dino said with a wry grin and ran a hand through his hair.

"The Decimo's that comparable to the Smoking Bomb in temper?" Shamal asked as he opened the gate and they headed back inside.

"Worse. Tsuna has X-Burners," Dino said with a grimace and they stepped inside.

Tsuna was back at his place at the table, his hair a bit messy, but no longer crying. This worked well for Dino, who knew he was about to make Tsuna very, very angry.

"Hey, kid… come on, we need to go for a walk," Dino said, motioning towards the open door.

"B-but…" Tsuna stammered, watching Shamal go back upstairs and motioning towards the room.

"He won't be up for another while yet. We'll be back before then," Dino assured… maybe.

Tsuna seemed to realize the lie, but he pursed his lips and grabbed the red sweater he'd been carting around that was quite obviously too large for him.

"Gokudera's?" Dino asked, and was rewarded with a sharp nod. "Alright… let's head out to that park your Rain Guardian likes to play at."

"It's that bad?" Tsuna asked, his eyes cold and his lips tight.

Tsuna obviously recognized the area for what it was – wide open and with few casualties. Dino didn't feel the need to confirm or deny his question.


	19. Chapter 19, Interlude 7

Tsuna felt the freeing feeling of soaring through the air. His eyes were closed, his breathing was shot and his body felt like it had been hit by a truck, but he was flying… there was that.

Gokudera… Gokudera had been attacked.

Well, no shit, he already knew that.

It didn't take a genius to realize when one finds their boyfriend near-unconscious in an alleyway that he's probably not in good health.

No… what got him was the _way_ he was attacked.

'It looks like he was forced, kiddo,' Dino had told him.

Forced… that was the word that Dino had used.

Tsuna closed his eyes as his back slammed against a wall, and he coughed up blood miserably, eyes lolling in his head as he trembled and attempted to concentrate well enough to know up from down.

"I've been beating the shit out of you for almost three hours now and you can still stand up… you've really grown," Dino complimented him as Tsuna spat out another mouthful of blood and climbed to his feet, his knees nearly buckling underneath him as he flexed his hands in his gloves and reached into his pocket. "Don't you think you've had enough? Why the hell are you punishing yourself?"

"Punishing? I went after him… I searched for hours for him… how the hell could I have missed that? DO YOU REALLY THINK GOKUDERA WOULDN'T HAVE SCREAMED? I bet… I bet he was calling out for me, and I didn't find him!" Tsuna cried, choking down another pill in time to guard against a flying kick to his left.

The pain in his arm nearly buckled him again, but he shoved back, managing to catch Dino with a clipped punch to his side, which he instantly followed up with a kick of his own that managed to catch the other off guard and do a slight amount of damage.

"Y'know… the only person who's ever managed to fight against me this long is your Cloud Guardian. That guy's a piece of work…" Dino continued his casual bantering, which Tsuna was ignoring in favor of attempting to land another hit and failing futilely.

Even with his soul calmed and his body relaxed into fighting mode, he could still feel tears burning his eyes and anger smoldering in his soul.

"It wasn't your fault," Dino told him, catching him off guard with the comment and the other man managed to land a punishing blow that sent him flying off into the distance once more, hitting the side of Namimori Highschool and then down to greet the earth.

Tears bit at his vision further as he struggled to even breathe properly.

"I think I may have felt a rib crack that time," Dino reflected, crouching down beside him.

Tsuna turned away, attempting to snort blood out of his nostrils and cough at the same time.

"You're going to need to be in a better position if you don't want to drown in your own body fluids," Dino suggested, attempting to roll him over onto his side.

"Don't…" Tsuna cried, his sobs only choking him further.

"Fuck, kid… don't go suicidal on me… the last thing we need is another dead Vongola candidate," Dino joked, but Tsuna heard the weariness in the man's tone that suggested that he was probably almost as tired as Tsuna was of all this. "Not to mention Reborn would fucking kill me… and then he'd probably resurrect you so that he could kill you himself."

Tsuna grunted in agreement with the last one and, although unwillingly and exhausted, allowed Dino to roll him onto his side and move his body into a position that didn't hurt so much to breathe.

Instantly, he felt the fluid in his drain down his face and he was able to cough up some of the blood he'd been swallowing all night.

"If you're going to vomit, let me know so I can move your hair," Dino offered, brushing his long bangs off his face.

Tsuna closed his eyes with the touch, feeling stupidly comforted by it despite everything.

Gokudera had been forced.

"He wasn't raped, was he?" Tsuna asked, his vision nonexistent against his eyelids, but he felt like he could see hell there, he felt like he could feel the choking grasp of everything that was evil and disgusting trying to claw his stomach out.

"…No…" Dino said after a good minute or two.

"Okay," Tsuna replied, feeling cold, dead, deflated.

"But we don't think it was entirely consensual, either," Dino admitted, sitting down beside Tsuna and dragging the suffering Decimo's head onto his lap so he could hold Tsuna's hair out of his face.

Tsuna was stupidly grateful for the kindness, as a strand of his bangs had been attempting to crawl up his nose since he'd been rolled over.

"So what? Either he was raped or he wasn't," Tsuna muttered in frustration, the tears in his vision feeling like so many wasted emotions at once.

"We don't know that. Rape isn't that simple… just because someone doesn't show signs of bleeding or extreme damage doesn't mean that they weren't forced into it all the same," Dino sighed out, petting Tsuna's hair lightly and setting the Decimo's nerves on edge.

Tsuna didn't want to listen to the logic of it all, he just… he didn't want to hurt.

"He said he loved me earlier," Tsuna admitted to no one in particular, just to hear the words aloud so that he could hold onto them and pretend that he was still waiting back at Gokudera's flat for his soon-to-be-lover to arrive with his treasures.

"That brat's loved you since the moment he saw you," Dino snorted. "He's been crawling after you since you 'beat' him the first time, all you needed was to give him that little bit of attention and he'd be yours for the rest of time. Anyone could see that."

Tsuna smiled wearily, remembering Gokudera's mad attempts to gain attention and prove that he was the best of their group, the most loyal, the smartest… the most useful, and in the end, the one who loved him the most too.

All of a sudden, Tsuna felt something strange in his stomach… like a roiling ball of acid and he turned in Dino's lap, gagging on nothing and spitting up bile from his empty stomach – he'd vomited out everything he'd eaten earlier in the fight, and it wasn't like he'd had much anyway with skipping dinner.

"Tsuna?" Dino asked, concern written all over his voice.

"Ugh!" Tsuna grunted as he lurched even further, his stomach twisting like something had grabbed it and was trying to strangle the life out of it.

"I left my cell phone back with the guys… I'll be right back, Tsuna," Dino assured him, gently putting him down and bolting off.

Tsuna felt his eyes tear up with a different kind of pain this time as he crawled towards the high school and shoved his shaking hands in Gokudera's pockets.

He managed to find a small hiding spot and focused his eyes long enough to find Byakuran's number on the screen.

_An unknown illness with unknown symptoms._

It had started.

He didn't have to wait more than half a ring for Byakuran to answer the phone.

"Yes?" the man asked, his voice a purr over the line that probably would have set his nerves afire in any other situation, but was merely a sound to him now – a noise that meant that Byakuran understood he was there.

"I…I'm… I think… it's started," Tsuna said, and he heard a strange sound like clattering over the line.

"Where are you?" Byakuran asked immediately, and Tsuna managed to mutter out the name of his school before passing out cold, cell phone clattering to the ground uselessly from numbed fingers.


	20. Chapter 20, Interlude 8

Tsuna woke to the clattering sound of something being prepared, and he had to blink his bleary eyes multiple times in order to even see straight. He was… somewhere he didn't recognize.

Where was he?

"Ow…" he hissed as he attempted to move and found that he couldn't.

"Ah… you're awake," a voice he recognized announced and he turned to see the smiling form of Byakuran walking towards him with a steaming mug of… something, and a glass of water.

Tsuna's eyes were glued to the water and he attempted to motion towards it weakly.

"Yes… I can imagine you're thirsty, but you're also beyond injured. You've just slept your second day away," Byakuran stated. "It's been almost fifty hours since you collapsed at Namimori highschool."

Tsuna knew that his eyes were huge, even as he gave up attempting to reach for the water and opened his lips slightly to allow Byakuran to pour some of the life-giving fluid into him.

"Mmm… that's a good boy," Byakuran stated, leaning his chin on one of his hands and watching his face from an inch away.

Tsuna knew Byakuran praising him shouldn't have been sexy, it shouldn't have made him blush, but it was and it did and he choked on the water he was attempting to drink.

"Silly boy… that tube is for breathing," Byakuran scolded lightly and dabbed gently at Tsuna's mouth as he continued to choke.

A gentle hand rubbing circles into his back ended up soothing his convulsing muscles and sooner rather than later he was able to breathe properly again.

"There… that's better," Byakuran said and this time brought a straw to Tsuna's chapped lips. "I didn't take you to the hospital this time, and I haven't been able to set you up with a drip yet. You'll need to drink quite a bit to keep your fluids up, but do so slowly or you'll just end up bringing it back up again."

His voice was so soothing, so relaxing to his frayed, over-stressed nerves. The man was probably the bottom of the barrel when it came to 'People I would depend on to keep me from going crazy', but in this situation…

Well, he'd take what he could get.

"So… care to tell me what you were doing hiding out at Namimori high school with injuries so severe you should have been in the ICU with what I would have considered your allies, but you appeared to have deliberately run from, looking for you?" Byakuran started, and Tsuna nearly choked on his water again. "No, no, none of that… I need you conscious."

"I-I don't know what happened… my stomach, it just… started hurting, and I thought that it was a sign that I was… that the disease…" Tsuna said, his eyes wide as his exhausted body seemed to cry for sleep. It was difficult just keeping himself conscious, let alone trying to think.

"Your stomach was hurting because your… sparing opponent, for lack of better term, broke three of your ribs and fractured another one. Every bone on your body is bruised and anymore movement on your part probably would have given you internal bleeding bad enough that I would have had no choice but to take you to the hospital. Really, you boys do certainly seem to enjoy injuring yourselves," Byakuran sighed in annoyance and rolled his eyes. "Speaking of boys, where is Goku-chan?"

"He's… he's not feeling well," Tsuna said, lying through his teeth, as he leaned back on the couch. "Something happened."

"Ah… very well, then. If you're feeling so secretive, I won't press. However, you do need to move, and I'd rather do it while you were conscious. I managed to get a few pieces of equipment from the hospital that I've set up in my room," Byakuran informed him lightly, and Tsuna nodded tiredly, his brain not connecting a few very important words in that sentence.

"M'kay…" Tsuna agreed and put up a barely token effort of help when Byakuran lifted him from the couch and walked a few paces away into a darkened room. He absently noted that the drip that Byakuran hadn't been able to set up earlier was by the bed and he weakly attempted to put his arm out for it.

"So willing to give me such liberties with your body," Byakuran sighed, stroking a finger down Tsuna's arm that made his hairs raise and his sluggish blood beat a bit faster.

"Mmm…" Tsuna groaned, twitching away while wanting more at the same time.

"I'm afraid you're still far too injured for such games," Byakuran scolded, inserting the needle into Tsuna's arm with professional skill and fluffing up a few pillows. "To think… I have you in my bed, and the only thing you'll be doing is drooling on it."

"Mm-awaybe later… we c'n do… s'mti'n 'lse," Tsuna said as he was slipping into unconsciousness.

He barely heard the tail end of a chuckle, but he did feel Byakuran's hand on his forehead, stroking down the side of his face and then brushing lightly across his lips.

"I truly hope so, Decimo," Byakuran whispered, and the last sensation Tsuna had was the older man kissing him to sleep.

Didn't people usually wake up from kisses?

Tsuna smiled as he thought that and curled up slightly, his arm with the drip still loose, so that he was comfortable when he dropped off the face of the planet.


	21. Chapter 21, Interlude 9

Tsuna had no concept of what time it was when he woke up again. The room was dark – but that could have also been because of the large drapes covering the windows – and everything was silent.

He yawned as he rose from the bed, attempting to stretch before noticing the drip and relaxing again, feeling half-woken up and a bit fluffy in the head.

He smacked his dry lips and looked around blearily, noting a cup of water and remembering it as the one that Byakuran had given him the last time he'd been conscious… whenever that was.

He felt like he'd slept for a century – it was a good thing.

After drinking the water, he realized that he had the incredibly strong urge to meet the call of nature, and thus squirmed in place for a minute, looking around, before seeing a likely door and crawling off the bed towards the drip. At first he had no concept of how he was supposed to do this, until he realized that the thing was on wheels and he could just move it as he walked.

Did he still need it, anyway?

When he got to the room, he gratefully noted that it was the bathroom and relieved himself with little issue.

After he emerged, he wandered slowly but surely through the small apartment – noticing for the first time that it wasn't some posh affair, but a modest, cheap-as-dirt living place in an okay part of town with a crappy view. It was also fairly apparent that the owner of said shanty wasn't home.

Tsuna frowned, having a difficult time equating this Byakuran with the lavish one he'd met ten years into the future. However, the two of them were most definitely the same… if completely different at the same time.

"Urgh… time travel sucks," Tsuna declared and wandered into the kitchen for some more water, taking a minute to grab his cup from the bedroom again.

While he was in the kitchen, he noted that there was a small pile of very-recognizable stuff sitting on the counter. Included in this pile of stuff was Gokudera's cell phone, and Tsuna realized for the first time that he'd been there at _least_ seventy-two hours – quite possibly longer – and that he hadn't contacted anyone since.

Considering that he wasn't actually dying of some horrible disease – yet – that meant that he'd pretty much just gone AWOL for no apparent reason after getting the shit beaten out of him and having some sort of weird convulsions in a ballpark… people were probably panicking.

"Shit…" Tsuna sighed to himself as he got his water and then proceeded around the apartment looking for a phone.

There wasn't one. At least, there didn't appear to be phone wires in any of the jacks. Perhaps Byakuran only had a cell phone? Well… that was a pain. Gokudera's phone was completely dead.

"Damnit…" he sighed and grabbed the cell anyway, going back to Byakuran's bed and curling up on the sheets.

Speaking of bed… did Byakuran sleep on the couch while he was taking up the man's bed? Tsuna hadn't seen any sheets there, so did that mean…?

He looked over the bed he'd been nested in for the past whoever-knows-how-long and noted a second indent in the mattress.

"Oh…" Tsuna flushed bright red and smiled stupidly to himself.

Ever since he'd gotten… that idea… it wasn't really all that difficult to be around Byakuran anymore. In fact, it was almost easy, like breathing. The man took his breath away and gave him a different kind… but…

But what Tsuna didn't understand was how Gokudera had fit into all of this.

While it was true that Byakuran hadn't denied Gokudera's presence in whatever future life he'd experienced already, the man hadn't confirmed it either… not to mention he hadn't really confirmed Tsuna in there, but that was a give-in considering their current situation.

"So…" he said aloud, then shut up when he realized he was being crazy, and said the rest in his own head:

'We were lovers… all three of us.'

"Oh," Tsuna whispered and turned red again.

How did that even work!

His mind started racing through possibilities based on the images, videos and strange books he'd read and turned an even deeper shade of red.

Well… if the one guy was in the middle, then that would… and oh wow…

Tsuna was sputtering in embarrassment and there wasn't even anyone around to be embarrassed _for_, he was just being ridiculous on his own time.

Still… then that opened up one more question, one that he was pretty sure he already knew the answer to, but was annoyed and frustrated with the possibility:

What had happened to Gokudera?

Well… Gokudera had gone to the store to get things, things that he wouldn't have told anyone else about – but in his fit of raging stupidity (a common thing, Tsuna found), he'd left his wallet, cell and anything else that could have helped actually purchase said objects at home.

Tsuna hadn't realized until about twenty minutes later, when he changed back into normal clothes and went after the silly bastard.

But when he'd gotten there, Gokudera was already gone… and hours alter, when he'd found his boyfriend curled up on the ground in a mess, the objects that he was supposed to have picked up – ice cream included – were in a bag on the ground beside him.

Tsuna was only just now remembering that little fact, the bag having been half-open and thrown aside in Tsuna's panic to help his downed boyfriend, but the objects _had_ been there.

How had Gokudera paid for those objects without his wallet?

Someone had helped him.

Tsuna looked over at the window to Byakuran's apartment and noted the location was scarcely three blocks from Gokudera's place, which meant that…

Tsuna crawled out of bed again and, dragging the drip, got back to the kitchen to note some of the brand names located on the things Byakuran had around the kitchen.

Yup… they were all from that little supermarket that he and Gokudera went to all the time – which is where the bag was from… and…

Tsuna rummaged under the man's sink for a second, finding a grocery bag from said store in the garbage that was the final straw. There was a receipt inside. It was for marshmallows bought on the night of Gokudera's attack.

"Oh boy," Tsuna sighed, closing his eyes and feeling a heavy weight on his heart.

Byakuran, you stupid bastard…

Gokudera, you stupid bastard…

Why did everyone have to make life so difficult?


	22. Chapter 22, Interlude 10

When Byakuran arrived back at his flat, he noted from outside that a few of the lights were on – which was a good sign that his patient had risen from his death-like slumber.

With injuries like Tsuna's, anyone else probably would have been out for a month or two, Byakuran was expecting a few days. Vongola blood, he had found through research, seemed to make their men quite sturdy.

Seeing as how it had already been, he checked the watch on his wrist, five days since Tsuna had initially called him, he was expecting a mostly-healed Vongola Decimo waiting for him upstairs.

Perhaps if he was healed, they would be able to…

But a small voice in his head chirped up, screaming at him for his already-volatile acts with Gokudera.

It wasn't that he'd meant to do what he'd done, it was just… very difficult to hold back when everything you'd ever wanted was offered up to you on a golden platter, accented with silver hair and green eyes that glowed in pleasure and drowned in lust… pale skin, rosy with heat and scorching to the touch…

Byakuran's mouth had gone dry and he knew that he was probably a touch red in the cheeks. The realization made him scowl at himself.

Blushing like a teenage maiden over something so ridiculous.

But it hadn't been ridiculous when it happened – far from it. Gokudera had wailed and cried and pleaded just like Byakuran knew the boy would. It had been perfect… except for everything else.

When he opened his apartment door, Tsuna was sitting on the couch with a frown on his face, Gokudera's stuff in a pile on the table in front of him, the empty picture frame from his mantle in his hands and a look of extreme disapproval lined the frown once he saw the owner of the apartment.

Ah… so Tsuna already knew.

"This is a pointless conversation that we're about to have, but I need to hear it," Tsuna stated, holding up his hands as though to fend off any comment Byakuran might make. "I think what you did is monstrous and stupid. Gokudera was a victim and you took advantage of him. I also think your life must be hell, and I… I don't object… that is… if… um… and… well, Gokudera would have to agree…"

Byakuran felt his heart jump a little bit in his chest and he glided forward, tracing his hand on the top of the couch just to feel the sensation on his skin and prove that it was real, before sitting down beside Tsuna – closer than normal, just so he could feel the boy's heat on his skin.

"Are you saying you'd like to have sex with me?" Byakuran purred, and was amused at the look of annoyed arousal on the boy's face, as though he were affected by the words when he didn't want to be and was attempting to be serious about it.

"I'm saying that I'd like to have sex with _both_ of you, and live with you, and possibly stay that way for the rest of my life. I'm also saying that you were a complete idiot and that you hurt Gokudera, and that if he says so, I will gladly severe your balls from your body and feed them to you," Tsuna said with a sweet smile on his face that made Byakuran's much-threatened manhood shrivel up in fear.

The boy wasn't joking in the slightest.

"How did you…?" Byakuran was curious as to that incredible mind hiding underneath all that fluffy brown hair. He was well-aware of Tsuna's awareness of obscure things, his 'hyper-intuition' that would allow him to learn, to understand and to accept things so much quicker than a normal human being.

"Your apartment isn't far from ours… and you have a grocery bag in your garbage with a receipt from that night… around two hours before I found Gokudera," Tsuna informed him, his eyes sliding away and developing a frown again. "You really hurt him."

"It wasn't my intention, but when I went to go and obtain a few items for Goku-chan's comfort, the boy had already run away," Byakuran sighed.

"Yup… that sounds… like Gokudera, alright," Tsuna sighed in annoyance and leaned back on the couch.

Byakuran observed the line of Tsuna's throat, the way that the boy's chest pressed against his tight-fitting shirt and the small line of flesh exposed at his abdomen.

"I believe… that you should go have a shower," Byakuran announced.

His eyes were distracted when Tsuna's shirt opened further, exposing the taught line of his well-crafted belly. He didn't notice that it was intentional until Tsuna's hand appeared and traced along the skin in tantalizing slowness.

"Distracted?" Tsuna asked, his voice rough and tempting.

"Very," Byakuran agreed, reaching out to gently touch Tsuna's wrist and guide the boy's hand along his own skin, pulling his t-shirt up in the process.

Again, he was astounded by Tsuna's willingness to let him do whatever he pleased. The boy seemed to enjoy the simple act of being guided, which was, of course, what made him such a splendid bed-partner.

"I would love to take you right here," Byakuran announced, not really thinking about it, merely stating his thoughts.

"I-I know…" Tsuna gasped as Byakuran traced the boy's own fingers over his bared nipples.

"Breathtaking," Byakuran stated and Tsuna's body arched slightly off the couch.

"Mmm…" Tsuna moaned and it was everything in his considerable control not to bend the boy backwards and fuck him so hard he wouldn't be able to stand for another week.

"Shower, Tsuna," Byakuran scolded lightly, kissing the boy's forehead and shooing him off. "You haven't had one for five days."

"I was out for five days?" Tsuna gasped, dropping his hand and pulling his shirt down.

"Quite," Byakuran nodded, recalling how he'd spent three of those five days with Tsuna in his bed, curled up behind him, watching the boy sleep and working himself out of the temptation of doing more.

"Holy shit… Reborn and Dino are going to be pissed! I need to use your phone!" Tsuna declared, nearly crawling onto him in his anxiousness.

"I will not allow you to use my personal line, as that is mine and not something I want in the hands of… of _him_. However, I will guide you to a phone that you can use… after you shower," Byakuran reminded the teen once more and pointed in the general direction of the bathroom.

"Ack!" Tsuna growled in frustration, and then motioned towards the drip that was still in his arm – Byakuran was surprised, anyone else probably would have ripped it out by now. "Can you take this out?"

"Of course," Byakuran agreed, gently plucking the needle from Tsuna's skin.

"Thanks," Tsuna chirped and kissed him on the cheek so softly, so whisperingly that Byakuran almost thought it was a dream – like he'd gone back to the future and where that Tsuna was still alive and warm in his arms.

He didn't really notice when Tsuna left, only recognized the distinct lack of heat, and it took him almost three minutes to even notice that the water was on in the shower.

For the first time, it occurred to him that even in this world, where he'd spoiled everything… he may get his happy ending.


	23. Chapter 23, Interlude 11

Tsuna grumbled as his weakened body shuddered against so much movement, but he ignored its whining and pressed on anyway. Byakuran was a few paces ahead of him, acting as something of a bodyguard – weird as it seemed to him – and Tsuna followed with a blatant limp and a rather large amount of pain in his abdomen.

He hadn't really noticed it back at the apartment, with his shuffling and half-assed movements, but now that he was seriously attempting to get from one place to the next, it was nearly impossible!

"Wait..! Oh, god…" Tsuna groaned, holding his middle.

"It's amazing that you can withstand such a beating and continue fighting, yet you can't move casually from one place to another without constant whining and rests," Byakuran reflected and Tsuna glared at him with all his might. "Angry kitten."

"M'not a freakin' kitten!" Tsuna yowled in protest, attempting to stand up straight and stumbling again.

"Mmm," Byakuran said with that horrible smirk on his face and moved closer to him. "Don't scratch, kitty."

"Huh?" Tsuna asked and let out a small sound of fright as Byakuran scooped him up like he weighed nothing and continued walking. "Umm…"

"Hush, it's late enough that people won't ask questions. Allow me this," Byakuran said and Tsuna swallowed his next words.

It wasn't like he was going to allow Byakuran to have his body without Gokudera there, so he could give the man this much.

The walk was embarrassing but otherwise nice. His hands were latched tightly into Byakuran's jacket and he had his face buried in it as they continued.

"I will not be with you when they arrive," Byakuran told him, and Tsuna felt his breath catch, even when he already knew that.

"Okay," he agreed, his voice small and quiet. "Reborn… wouldn't kill you, you know. He'd probably consider you a valuable ally."

"It would not be Reborn who would be tempted to kill," Byakuran stated, and Tsuna felt a soft pulse in the man's hands on his arms.

Silence fell again as they turned a corner and ended up at a pay phone.

Tsuna rifled through Gokudera's wallet and yanked out a few coins.

"Thank you… for everything," Tsuna stated when Byakuran put him down on his feet.

"Hardly… I'm afraid I've done more harm than good this week," Byakuran stated, his face troubled, and Tsuna smiled softly to himself.

"Yup… but you still saved me, so I suppose you need a reward for that," Tsuna stated, and reveled in Byakuran's shocked look as he grabbed the man's shirt and dragged him down so he could kiss him.

Without any kind of preamble, he shoved his tongue into the man's mouth and stroked and prodded, luring the dominating man's tongue into his own mouth, and swiftly found himself being gently pressed against the telephone booth behind him while the man attempted to choke him using his tongue alone.

Tsuna bathed in the emotions behind the kiss for a few minutes before slowly winding the kiss down. When Byakuran was just about to remove his tongue, Tsuna bit down on it – hard, and saw the other man's eyes widen again, this time in alarm.

When Byakuran pulled back, there was blood on his chin and Tsuna knew that there was blood on his own as well, he tasted it as he ran his own unharmed muscle over his lips.

"That's for Gokudera," Tsuna stated with a slight glare. "And I'm sure it's only a fraction of the pain he felt. If you _ever_ do anything like that again, whether he forgives you or not – and this is Gokudera we're talking about – I'm going to do a lot worse."

Byakuran simply smiled at him, hand still over his mouth, and Tsuna nodded firmly before turning around and reaching for the phone.

He dialed the number with numb fingers, scared and determined at the same time.

"What?" Dino answered, his voice annoyed and obviously frustrated.

"Hey…" Tsuna said softly, and he heard a sharp intake of breath and some clattering.

"Tsuna! Where the fuck are you!" Dino demanded and Tsuna winced, feeling awful.

"I'm at a phone booth… just outside that supermarket by Gokudera's place," Tsuna said and he heard the clang of keys and the rough breathing of movement.

"I'll be there in two minutes," Dino told him before hanging up and Tsuna gently replaced the phone on its hook.

When he turned around, Byakuran was already gone.

He felt his heart clutch a little, but smiled at the feeling and turned away. What a strange situation.

Six months ago, he'd nearly pissed himself just telling Gokudera that he _liked_ him, and now here he was, kissing Byakuran and promising that he could… and Gokudera…

His ears flushed scarlet again and he stammered off a few mental excuses for his behavior, but in the end couldn't keep the stupid smile off his face, even when Dino rolled around the corner and Tsuna found himself smothered in the headlights of his car.

Wincing against the light, he held up his hand to block it out, the stupid smile fortunately knocked off his face.

"Tsuna!" Dino cried as he exited the car and he was suddenly buried in a flurry of movement, being checked over repeatedly and being asked a million questions he couldn't even hear properly, let alone answer.

"Hi…" Tsuna answered after Dino appeared to have pawed him as much as he was going to and he was able to stand in one place again.

"Where the hell have you been?" Dino started.

"Well… I spent about ninety percent of the last five days sleeping… I only just woke up for a prolonged period this evening and called you the moment I was able to. An intern at the hospital picked me up and decided to take care of me, I only really talked with him a few times… he brought me here because he doesn't have a phone," Tsuna explained, motioning to the payphone.

"He didn't know who you were?" Dino stated, seemingly not knowing whether to believe him or not.

"I guess not…? We didn't really talk all that much," Tsuna answered, frowning where appropriate and otherwise lying through his teeth in the most believable way he ever had. There was too much at stake here for him to not.

"He did a really good job with all these wrappings, though… we should find him and thank him," Dino stated. "Did you at least get his name?"

Tsuna was already blushing like a maniac at the idea of 'thanking' him, but he guessed Dino took it as a response to him being embarrassed about not getting the man's name instead.

"Yeesh… you sure get yourself into some odd situations," Dino stated with an eye roll and helped Tsuna into the car.

"How's Gokudera? I hope Reborn wasn't too hard on him," Tsuna asked, his eyes reflecting his worry.

"He's due home today. He's been gone, so he didn't know you were missing. That's probably for the best," Dino stated and Tsuna nodded in approval. Gokudera would have started searching for him high and low if he'd known he was missing.

"Let's go home," Tsuna stated, a small smile on his face at the idea of going back to his house and eating his mom's cookies… and seeing Gokudera.

The smile bloomed on his face to the point that he was grinning and he couldn't help it.


	24. Chapter 24

Gokudera woke to the sound of crunching, and he turned to see Dr. Shamal folding paper airplanes.

His eyes widened and he wondered if he'd been hit with the ten year bazooka, but he registered that he was in the Decimo's bedroom, so the likelihood of that was zero.

Then his situation dawned on him and he fell back on the bed, deflated and furious all at once.

"You're awake… took you long enough," Shamal grunted and Gokudera turned to glare listlessly at the man, not feeling it enough to put effort into it.

He had betrayed Tsuna… Tsuna whom he loved… Tsuna who loved him.

Tears burned at his eyes and his body ached, but he ignored them in favor of emotional agony.

"I need to know what happened," Shamal instructed and Gokudera tensed up like a wire ready to snap.

"I… I…" Gokudera trailed off, attempting to figure out how to explain his situation without giving away the name of his… 'attacker'.

"You had sex with someone. He was rough. He hurt you – badly – though not enough to tear, thank God. Who was it?" Shamal demanded and Gokudera winced against the words.

"Someone I met in the store… they bought me some things and I guess… fuck, I don't even know. I don't remember much of it, I was already upset about things earlier and… shit… fuck, I think… I don't know, I don't fucking know!" Gokudera raged, his anger genuine even if his words were as phony as Byakuran's smile.

"Calm your hormonal ass down. You'll probably remember in a bit, you're still out of it with the drugs and shock," Shamal stated after making the folds to perfect another airplane.

Gokudera nodded, pleased that he avoided the hell that was answering for a few minutes, at least.

"Reborn will be coming by in a bit. He's taking you off for… training," Shamal stated, a sigh on the end of his words informing Gokudera that 'training' was probably not all it was chalked up to be.

"He's gonna beat the fuck out of me, isn't he?" Gokudera winced, realizing how it looked that his attacker wasn't lying dead in the alleyway.

"Putting it mildly," Shamal agreed and Gokudera felt a shiver of fear rip through him.

"When's he coming?" Gokudera asked, sitting up and wincing against the pain.

"Pretty quick," Shamal stated. "And if you try to run, that'll only make it worse."

"Yeah, but at least he'll give props for trying," Gokudera grunted as he looked around for his jacket and remembered that Tsuna had his sweater again, with all his shit in it. Rolling his eyes at his stupidity, he attempted to ignore the pain in his spine and what it all meant.

"There's some money on the night table, and a few painkillers too," Shamal told him, and Gokudera saw it out of the corner of his eye. He smiled in weary amusement and saw it echoed in a smirk on his teacher's face. "I've had a few sessions with Reborn in the past… can't blame you for trying."

"Didn't think so," Gokudera said, picking up the money and dry-swallowing the pills before heading to the window. _This_ was going to hurt like hell.

Still, he jumped out the window and landed painfully in the tree opposite and wondered how strong this tree was considering how many times it had been blown to smithereens.

He managed to scuttle down the tree and get about three steps before a gun was pressed into the back of his head.

"I tried," Gokudera sighed and he could almost _feel_ Reborn's smirk.


	25. Chapter 25

The chopper's blades were heavy in the air, the noise phenomenal, as it descended to the ground in the baseball diamond of Namimori High School.

Gokudera sat in the open door, legs dangling into nothing with Reborn sitting on his shoulder like an oversized cat. He had a cigarette in his hand – which was worthless, as the whirling blades constantly killed the flame – but he felt a smirk creep onto his face when he saw the bushy hair that signaled Tsuna on the ground beside a giant blond blob that was Dino.

He was home.

He didn't know when Japan became home, with his small-ass suite that he lived in with Tsuna, but he felt the rightness of here more acutely than any other feeling in his life.

The trip back to Italy only reminded him more acutely of that.

"Ready?" Reborn asked him and Gokudera nodded as they got closer to the ground.

Once the chopper was of a decent distance, he leapt out and free-fell to the ground, catching himself on his feet and feeling the jarring pain spread up his legs. A meter higher and he would have broken them.

The chopper took off instantly and he lit up his cigarette as he walked over to where Tsuna and Dino were, the movements chasing away the pain.

"Gokudera!" Tsuna called and flew towards him. He caught the other boy in his arms and held him close, bathing in the scent of his boyfriend and realizing how much he'd missed him all over again.

"I missed you," Gokudera stated and Tsuna smiled up at him, leaning up and capturing his lips roughly, even with Reborn there on Gokudera's shoulder, watching the kiss from mere inches away.

Gokudera's cigarette slipped from his fingers and was forgotten on the ground as he laced his hand into Tsuna's hair and tilted his head for better access.

Their tongues twisted and he poured all the love he had for the other boy into his lips, massaging Tsuna's mouth with his own and working to convince him all over again that he would never leave him.

"I love you," Tsuna whispered as they pulled back for a second and Gokudera kissed him again desperately.

"I love you too," he stated and Tsuna smiled at him.

"Break it up, lovebirds. You guys gotta get home," Dino motioned towards where his car was. "Reborn and I have to head back to Italy."

"But I'll be back in a month," Reborn declared from Gokudera's shoulders. "You've gone slack in my absence."

"Okay," Tsuna said, his smile undisturbed and Gokudera linked their hands together as they followed Dino back to his car.

The car ride was silent, but Gokudera was simply happy being there, holding Tsuna's hand without guilt. The guilt that he'd felt in the first few days had been enormous, but Reborn had beaten the fuck out of him repeatedly – he had more bruises now than after he'd fought Gamma for God's sake – until he could admit without lying that it wasn't his fault.

And it wasn't; that much was obvious… now. He squeezed Tsuna's hand lightly and the other boy squeezed back, a blush on his face and a particularly adorable smile on his lips.

When they got back to Gokudera's place their 'goodbyes' were swift as Dino and Reborn took off and Gokudera and Tsuna re-entered his flat for the first time in almost a week.

Tsuna gave him no time to think as he grabbed his jacket, stripped it off to his elbows and grinned.

"Wanna start where we left off?" he asked, pushing the jacket off and stripping Gokudera's red sweater off his own body to reveal his bared chest.

"One thing," Gokudera said a bit darkly.

"Uh uh… I know already," Tsuna said, pressing his fingers to Gokudera's lips softly. "I have a few things I need to tell you as well… I had just… hoped that we could… oh well…"

Gokudera felt like trash once more as he closed his eyes and sighed. There was never going to be another perfect moment, was there?

"Let me explain. Five days ago, you went to the story like a big, raging moron and left all your stuff here. While you were there, you met with Byakuran. He bought you a bunch of stuff – cigarettes, ice cream, lube and condoms – and you guys left the store. After that, the details get a bit fuzzy… but the bottom line is that you two had sex," Tsuna declared and Gokudera felt shock down to his pores.

How the fuck had Tsuna found out?

He tried to speak up, but Tsuna's fingers once more beat him and covered his mouth.

"Don't worry about it, I don't blame you. Just shut up and let me explain," Tsuna said gently, kissing him lightly and then taking a deep breath and continuing again. "He was rough, impatient and hurt you. When he realized that, he went to go get something to help you, but you ran away… probably because you felt guilty – which you don't need to! I understand… I probably understand better than you do…"

Gokudera frowned at that comment, suspicion rising in him like a tidal wave and the urge to punch Byakuran's face in growing.

"…Anyway, then I found you and stuff happened, and Dino took me out. I was raging at him for awhile, but he kinda beat me into a pulpy mess," Tsuna blushed a bit. "I wasn't really focused, so he just kept getting good shots off. His last one ended up breaking three of my ribs and doing a boatload of other damage, and in the aftermath, I felt this weird pain – I thought it was _that_."

Tsuna didn't need to define it, he knew what _that_ was. His heart started beating rapidly in fear and his instinctive reaction was to call Byakuran and get the man to run some more tests, despite what had happened barely days ago.

"It wasn't… apparently it was just my broken ribs doing some internal damage. Still, in my panic I crawled away and called Byakuran. He came and got me – hiding me for the past five days while I recovered – and I realized what happened between you and him while I was there," Tsuna explained and Gokudera felt his stomach bottom out.

He hadn't really expected Tsuna to find out. Yes, he'd intended to tell him what happened, but he hadn't wanted to mention Byakuran, he figured that Tsuna wouldn't have been able to handle it.

"Okay… now that you know that, I want you to sit down and breathe, okay?" Tsuna said, guiding him to the couch and sitting him down carefully. Tsuna then proceeded to sit in his lap, chest to chest and nose to nose. "What I'm going to tell you is purely up to you. I haven't made any deals or… or done anything, okay?"

Gokudera nodded in confusion, wondering what the hell Tsuna was getting at.

"The reason that Byakuran offered to save me, or even looked us up here, was because sometime in the future, all three of us became lovers," Tsuna said quietly and Gokudera felt his stomach clench in denial. "I don't know when, or why or how or whatever… but I guess that's what happened in his future. He has this empty picture frame above his mantle… and… I feel like I'm supposed to be there with you, and him and we were happy. I don't really get it, but that's not the point.

"The point is that he loves us. I… I kinda want him… and you've… well, I guess you can't really tell me that you don't want him either. I want you more, and I love you. I don't love him… he's just… intoxicating and frustrating and… oh God…" Tsuna groaned, hiding his face and Gokudera strangely understood exactly what Tsuna was getting at, as much as he wanted to ignore it. "I… I want you to be my first and my last and my in between. I want what you want, but… but if you wanted to, I want him too."

Gokudera's hands rested on Tsuna's hips as he attempted to work out his thoughts. He'd just spent the last five days rousing up enough anger for Byakuran to douse the flames of guilt within himself, and Tsuna had just poured a giant heap of sand over the entire mess – extinguishing everything.

He rubbed absent circles into Tsuna's sides and tilted his head back so he was looking at the ceiling instead of at the boy in question.

"I… I don't really know what to…" Gokudera admitted and Tsuna chuckled.

"I know what you mean," Tsuna stated, hiding his face in Gokudera's shoulder. "I feel like the future is dictating the present… isn't that messed up?"

"Yeah…" Gokudera agreed and placed his chin on the top of Tsuna's head.

"You don't have to answer me right away, I just wanted to let you know what I thought about everything," Tsuna stated, kissing his neck softly and sending a rush straight down to his groin.

"I'd have to see him again. I don't know whether I'm angry or… whether I'm sad or guilty or… anything. I'm just…" Gokudera stated, closing his eyes against the tides of his own emotions.

"It's okay…" Tsuna said, kissing him softly and cradling his face in his hands. "I didn't expect an answer right away. Come on, let's go to bed and we can think about it more in the morning, okay?"

Gokudera nodded and Tsuna climbed off of him, the two of them meandering to their room hand in hand.

"But Tsuna… tomorrow… tomorrow I want to," Gokudera trailed off, his ears still going red despite the fact that he knew what was going to happen and how to do it this time. It was Tsuna… it's because it was fucking _Tsuna_. No one else would ever be able to make him feel like this.

"Okay," Tsuna was beaming now and Gokudera felt his heart in his throat. He was just so fucking beautiful. "Kiss me?"

Gokudera nodded and kissed him breathless, leaning him up against the door frame to their room. There was no overwhelming passion this time, just love and warmth. Tsuna relaxed in his arms and Gokudera once more felt like he was coming home.

He realized again that home wasn't this flat in Japan or his giant castle in Italy, or whatever piece of shit hideout they were staying in…

Home was where Tsuna was.


	26. Chapter 26

It was the crack of dawn and Tsuna was asleep like a log on the bed. Gokudera gently ran his hand through the brunet's hair and smiled when Tsuna instinctively leaned into his touch.

Today was… the big day…

He breathed out a sigh of anticipation and then sucked in a breath of air.

Holy shit… today he was going to…

He felt his face light up like a Christmas tree and he quickly grabbed his things – making sure this time to get his wallet and fully-charged cell phone.

As he left the house, he heard a small shuffle and looked back to make sure Tsuna hadn't woken up, but the boy appeared like the living dead and Gokudera made a quick run down to the supermarket.

It was almost dead at this time in the morning – luuucky – and he managed to snag his items with little trouble.

He still had enough cigarettes, and besides which, he didn't want to smell like a chimney when he and Tsuna…

He took a deep breath and attempted to think the sentence in its full form.

He didn't want to smell like a chimney when he and Tsuna finally had sex.

There, he thought it, and no, he wasn't a thirteen year old boy, blushing and stammering at the very thought. If he was going to make sure Tsuna liked… liked it, and that it was enjoyable for the both of them, he needed to make sure that he was in a calm enough mind to actually walk through all the steps.

Even with Tsuna.

Even with Tsuna moaning and crying and shouting his name.

Even with Tsuna with his legs open and his erection barred to plain sight and…

Holy fuck…

Gokudera froze in place.

He suddenly had a very real fear that he was going to completely fuck up in mid-action.

Breathe… breathe you absolute fucktard, breathe.

He closed his eyes, calming himself, and started on his trip back home again.

The closer he got, the more his hands were shaking. He knew that a cigarette would calm his nerves, but… but…

He took another deep breath and pushed past the addiction, knowing that his devotion to Tsuna was far more real, more addictive in the long run.

Even so, by the time he reached the door, his hand was shaking so badly that it took him a few tries to even get the key in the lock, and another to get the door open.

"Did you have a smoke?" Tsuna asked from where he was curled up on the couch, cheerfully watching cartoons.

"N-no," Gokudera admitted, proud of himself.

"You can… if you want, I mean, if you need to. I already know what you taste like," Tsuna said, smiling at him from beneath his eyes.

Gokudera watched Tsuna as the boy uncurled himself from the couch and walked towards him. He wasn't wearing a shirt and his pajama pants were slung low on his slim hips.

"I'll be waiting," Tsuna said, kissing him softly and taking the bag from his numb fingers. He watched his boyfriend as he strode into the kitchen, placing the vanilla ice cream in the freezer, before removing the lubricant and condoms and walking into the bedroom.

Gokudera could only follow like a month to the flame.

When he got into the bedroom, Tsuna was slipping his pants down his body and Gokudera was met with his first full-on naked view of the Decimo.

His legs gave out and he dropped to the ground like a bag of potatoes.

"If that's your reaction to seeing me naked, I can't wait until you're inside me," Tsuna said with a slight chuckle and helped the nearly-incoherent boy onto the bed.

Gokudera made a few helpless sounds as his lover stripped him naked and shoved him back on the bed.

"I guess you're probably going to be a bit out of it your first time, huh?" Tsuna said with a large smile and crawled onto him.

Gokudera hissed at the feeling of skin on skin and he wished with all his might that he would have just gone for that fucking cigarette, at least then he may have been able to move!

"Here," Tsuna said, reaching into his pants and pulling out a smoke. He held it between his own lips – a sexier sight than any Gokudera had ever seen before – and lit the thing up before holding it to Gokudera's own.

The silver-haired man breathed in the nicotine with the distinct taste of Tsuna on the filter, it was quite possibly the best taste he'd ever had in his mouth.

"Kiss me?" Tsuna asked, and Gokudera held his cigarette to one side, pulling his body up so he could kiss his boyfriend thoroughly.

Tsuna moaned into the kiss, the sound intoxicating and beautiful. Gokudera leaned back a bit, taking another drag and letting the chemicals seep into his blood.

"Feeling a bit more human?" Tsuna asked with a smile on his face almost remnant of Byakuran.

"Mhm," Gokudera muttered, taking a last drag of his smoke before shoving it into the ashtray and pushing Tsuna back onto the bed – taking control like he had had every intention of doing.

Tsuna went back willingly, his body falling so gracefully that it almost looked posed.

"You ready now?" Tsuna asked, spreading his legs a bit nervously.

"Fuck yes," Gokudera sighed, kissing his boyfriend again before moving down to gently nibble his ear and then down his neck, focusing on the areas that made the beautiful body beneath him shudder and twitch.

When he got down to the other's nipples, he made sure to pay special attention to each one in turn, nursing on them and making sure that Tsuna was a puddle of goo beneath him before moving on.

"Ah!" Tsuna gasped as Gokudera moved even further down, flailing his hands for a minute before Gokudera reached up and placed the limbs in his hair. Tsuna seemed to be grateful for it, as he instantly calmed down a bit and took a few deep breaths. "Okay…"

Gokudera rubbed his face against Tsuna's stomach lightly before moving down further and getting his first real look at Tsuna's cock.

It was… average size… and… and it was Tsuna's… and…

"You okay?" Tsuna asked, his voice breathy and his entire upper body was flushed so beautifully that Gokudera managed to get a hold of himself again.

He nodded at Tsuna's question and breathed in the scent of Tsuna's manhood before gently taking the tip into his mouth and getting his first real taste.

"Aah!" Tsuna arched into his mouth and Gokudera choked a bit, using one of his hands to press Tsuna's hips down and hold them there so he could explore the other boy's body more thoroughly.

It was… interesting. The taste was different from anything he'd had before, almost bitter… salty, sweet and… strange. He didn't particularly like it, but… it was Tsuna's, and therefore he would love it.

"G-Gokudera… I'm… I'm…!" Tsuna cried, his body arching, even with Gokudera holding it down.

Gokudera moved a bit faster, focusing more on the parts that made the body beneath him twitch and flail.

Tsuna was moaning and sobbing and crying and Gokudera loved every moment of it.

"Oh… OH GOD!" Tsuna screamed as he came into Gokudera's waiting mouth.

Gokudera pulled back a bit, swallowing the liquid and tasting it absently, again not knowing whether or not it was the greatest thing ever or the most disgusting.

"You just… swallowed that, didn't you?" Tsuna asked with a sigh.

Gokudera looked up the Decimo's body and wondered if that was a good or bad thing.

"Weirdo," Tsuna chuckled and grabbed his hair, dragging him up his body and kissing him, tongue exploring and causing a shiver to run down his spine.

Tsuna was tasting himself. Holy fuck.

Gokudera gasped as they pulled back and Tsuna stared at him through dazed, unfocused eyes.

"You ready?" Gokudera asked, hooking one of Tsuna's legs with his elbow and opening the other boy completely.

"Mhm," Tsuna agreed, panting and obviously eager, although intimidated.

Gokudera took a deep breath himself, reaching for the lube and opening the tube with shaking fingers. He spread the solution on his hand and made sure that every crevice was drenched before stroked his cock as well. When he finally felt ready to begin, he made to check Tsuna was as well.

Tsuna appeared to be relaxed, but Gokudera could sense that tiny thread of tension in his body. He gently massaged Tsuna's thigh with his non-lubed hand and moved his other down to the area that he was soon to be penetrating.

He almost felt that freezing sensation that would have him so freaked he would need another smoke to calm down, but he managed to chase it away and gently push his finger into Tsuna's body.

At first there was resistance, but a deep breath on Tsuna's part had the body beneath him relaxing and allowing his finger to slide in.

"Ah… that feels… so weird," Tsuna shifted lightly and Gokudera swallowed at the feeling of muscles strangling his digit. "Does… does it feel weird to you too?"

"No… it feels amazing," Gokudera stated, his voice slightly choked as he gently started thrusting his finger in and out of Tsuna's ass, getting him used to the sensation as he'd been… instructed.

It only took a few seconds for Tsuna to start pushing back onto him, so he added a second finger slowly.

Tsuna winced a bit at that one, but continued to take him gracefully. "That feels… it kinda… well, no, it doesn't hurt it's just, strange and… stretchy," Tsuna said and Gokudera swallowed at the narration.

Was Tsuna going to tell him how everything felt? Holy fuck… if Tsuna was going to keep talking like this, he was totally fucked. He wouldn't even last a second.

"B-but I was kinda… thinking of something… ah!" Tsuna arched slightly and Gokudera recognized a small patch within the body he was exploring that was different from the rest. He gently ran his fingers over that spot again and Tsuna arched again, seeming to lose all thought process.

Gokudera continued with two fingers for another couple of minutes before Tsuna seemed to be fully used to them, and he added a third. Byakuran had only used two and it had hurt like a motherfucker, perhaps three would make things a little less painful…?

"AH!" Tsuna gasped, his entire body twitching and then jerking in a spasm when Gokudera started striking his prostrate again. "W-when I come… when… when we have… sex… I, I want to call you Hayato… can I?"

Gokudera paused, realizing for the first time that he'd never heard his first name from Tsuna's lips, despite being his boyfriend for almost six months, and his friend for two years.

"Yeah," Gokudera croaked, unable to really think of anything more intelligent to say.

"O-okay," Tsuna agreed and went back to lying down on the bed, shuddering and twitching with the feelings Gokudera was giving him.

Again, he was struck by how astoundingly beautiful his boyfriend was, and he wished that he could immortalize this moment for the rest of his life.

"I think…" Gokudera started, but was stopped when Tsuna nodded and a general state of 'oh shit' was reached between them.

"I guess… I guess this is it," Tsuna said, a soft smile on his face as he guided Gokudera's face back up to his own and stared into his eyes with a bit of fear.

"I guess so," Gokudera agreed and lined himself up with the body beneath him.

"Did you put on a condom?" Tsuna asked, gazing down a bit worriedly.

"No…" Gokudera sighed and moved to reach for one.

"Don't… don't worry about it… I kinda just… wanna feel you, unless you want to…" Tsuna muttered.

Gokudera didn't even respond, just moved closer again and Tsuna laced his fingers around the back of his neck.

"I love you," Gokudera said as he lined himself up and felt the scorching heat of Tsuna against his lubricated erection and shuddered.

"I-I love you too… please…!" Tsuna encouraged him and Gokudera pushed in gently, gasping harshly at the feeling and knowing that his brain was melting away with every inch he entered.

When he was fully sheathed, he was back to his incoherent-mess phase again.

"Y-you better n-not need a-a cig-cigarette… b-because I'm not w-waiting this time!" Tsuna grunted and Gokudera attempted to pull himself out of his funk. "Move!"

Gokudera closed his eyes and thrust, breaking his frozen-solid state and nearly came at the feeling.

"Ah! That feels… so… move, keep moving!" Tsuna gasped, clawing at his back heavily.

Gokudera followed his advice and kept thrusting, pulling back only slightly before thrusting again and nearly sobbing at the feeling of absolute bliss that came with being inside of Tsuna.

Neither of them lasted very long, Gokudera wasn't even sure if he'd managed to find Tsuna's prostrate – he didn't even grow a brain cell in time to help get Tsuna off, too driven by his own urges.

When they collapsed back onto the bed, Gokudera felt like such a freaking mess.

"That was…" Gokudera gasped, unable to finish his sentence.

"It'll only get better," Tsuna assured him, a few tears in his eyes and Gokudera gasped, pulling back and out of his lover.

"I'm sorry!" Gokudera cried, unable to believe that he'd done that, had hurt the Decimo in the same way he'd promised himself over and over again that he wouldn't.

"Wait… there's nothing to be sorry about!" Tsuna objected, but Gokudera wasn't listening.

He slid off the bed, fishing out his smokes again and lit one frantically, struggling to take a deep enough drag to calm his nerves.

"Goku – Hayato… you dumbass, you didn't hurt me," Tsuna muttered, crawling after him and wincing as he did so.

"I didn't…?" Gokudera asked, frowning at the obvious lie.

"Look, anal sex isn't all about sugar cakes and candy. I _knew_ it was going to hurt when I asked you to have sex with me. I was prepared for this pain… and you need to be prepared to hurt me every time we do this and realize that I _want_ it, and that I will punch you if you ever attempt to abandon me during or after sex because you have too many issues," Tsuna told him with a sigh and crawled into his lap, stealing his attention from his cigarette when Gokudera realized that their bodies were once more pressed together with very little space between them and he swallowed.

Tsuna smiled at him, again with that nearly-predatory look on his face.

"Again?" Tsuna asked, pushing Gokudera back on the bed and aligning their hips. "Well… I did want to try this position."

Gokudera could only swallow and stare as Tsuna proceeded to guide his erection into his body and he just _knew_ that Tsuna was going to be the death of him some day.

There were worse ways to go.


	27. Chapter 27

Gokudera smiled as he gazed upon his lover, his hand gently stroking down Tsuna's bare back as the other boy slept.

They'd been in bed for the past three days, emerging only for food and bathroom breaks with the occasional shower thrown in for good measure – although those had a tendency of being their own kind of entertainment.

Gokudera's ears burned a bit in memory of all the things Tsuna had 'researched', and therefore, everything they had tried in the past three days. He felt awkward about it, but not ashamed. He could never feel ashamed with Tsuna.

However, as reality started to descend upon them once more – Monday arising from the mist – he was forced into another state of contemplation. Monday they would go back to school, where they'd been absent now for a week, and life would resume it's natural order. Yet… with everything that had happened, he felt so changed, like he would go back to school and it would be unrecognizable simply because his own feelings had warped so drastically.

Absently, he reached over the side of his bed and grabbed his cigarettes – noticing that he was on his last one. That meant he had to do a grocery run.

Groaning at the idea of physical activity, he shuddered and placed the smoke in his lips as he yanked his pants to himself and started getting dressed.

By the time he was ready, Tsuna was in that lovely state of semi-consciousness he got into when he was in the middle of his rest – where he would snuggle towards him or occasionally even kiss him – before he would fall back into deep sleep.

"Hey," Gokudera said, sitting down on the bed and Tsuna smiled dreamily.

"Mmm…" the other boy said, his eyelashes fluttering.

"I'm just running to the store for some smokes and breakfast, I'll be back in a bit," Gokudera informed his lover and Tsuna nodded briefly, touching his leg for a moment before passing out again.

Gokudera snagged his jacket, making sure everything was present, before striding from the house and taking the short walk down to the supermarket.

Yet again, the store was almost empty, and he was able to pass through the line-up with little problems.

He was just about to light up his second smoke for the day – and thus not really paying attention to what he was doing – when he bumped into someone entering the store. It wouldn't have been such a shocking experience if it weren't for the fact that the person was fucking Byakuran, and that he almost looked… guilty.

Silence overtook them for a few minutes and a lot of staring happened, neither really knowing what to do or say.

"C'mon," Gokudera finally muttered, motioning with his head towards his flat and Byakuran followed without question, probably having an idea of where they were going.

Gokudera wasn't about to have this conversation without Tsuna. He had no idea how he felt, or how he was supposed to feel, or if he was even supposed to feel anything at all. It was… horrible to be in this state of soul-deep confusion.

"You're a bastard," Gokudera stated as his place came into view.

"I'm aware," Byakuran nodded slowly.

"You raped me," Gokudera informed him.

"It was not my intention," Byakuran sighed, obviously having dealt with this from someone else – probably Tsuna – already.

"No shit, dumbfuck… but… Tsuna wants you to come and talk with us… so…" Gokudera continued and opened the door to his flat, taking a last drag from his smoke and putting it out in a nearby ashtray. Tsuna had put one in each room, the living room had three. Gokudera smiled at the consideration and motioned for Byakuran to sit down on the couch. "I'll go and get him, it might take a bit."

"Understandable. Tsuna can very nearly sleep through anything," Byakuran stated with a smile that suggested he knew the sleeping patterns of the Decimo _very_ well.

Gokudera's back straightened at that, reminded again of Tsuna's statement of being Byakuran's lover in the future. If that was the case, then Byakuran might actually know more about Tsuna than _he_ did… but that's ridiculous!

"Stop twisting yourself into knots and go get Tsuna," Byakuran scolded lightly, not even looking at him.

Gokudera snorted in shock and turned on his heel, opening the door to his bedroom to see Tsuna already sitting there freshly showered and completely naked. His mouth went dry.

"Awww, no breakfast? Some boyfriend you are," Tsuna yawned, snuggling into the blankets a little.

"Sorry… there would have been breakfast, but… we have a visitor," Gokudera informed him and dearly wished they didn't. Tsuna looked gorgeous – it seemed to be his lover's second nature.

"Damn…" Tsuna cursed and sat up, wincing at the pain in his back. "Okay… gimme a minute."

Gokudera gave him five, observing Tsuna's every movement with rapt attention as that beautiful body was slowly hidden from his view.

"I think I prefer you without the clothes," Gokudera informed him with an expert's eye.

"And after whoever this is goes home, you'll get your wish," Tsuna stated with a smile and shuffled out of the bedroom, wincing every few seconds and leaning heavily on the wall. "Owww…"

Gokudera smirked softly to himself and walked over to Tsuna, picking the other boy up and carrying him through the hallway into the living room.

"This is much better! See, this is what awesome boyfriends are supposed to do," Tsuna nodded in approval, arms laced around Gokudera's neck and body lax in his hold.

Gokudera smiled at the compliment, but felt it melt off his face in a rush when Byakuran came into view again.

"Oh… that kind of visitor," Tsuna nodded and shuffled so Gokudera could put him down. "Hey."

"I see you're feeling better… and perhaps worse," Byakuran said with a smirk that suggested he knew _exactly_ what had been going on for the past three days.

"It's a good kind of worse," Tsuna stated, sitting down on the couch with a breath of relief.

Gokudera sat beside him and wasn't surprised in the slightest when Tsuna laced their hands and leaned against his side. He was… nervous. He didn't want to make an ass out of himself, but he didn't know what he was supposed to do in this situation.

"Have you apologized?" Tsuna started with, staring straight at Byakuran when he said it.

"I have not," Byakuran admitted after half a second.

"We should probably start there, then," Tsuna suggested.

"Very well…" Byakuran closed his eyes as though to gather his thoughts and then turned to Gokudera. "It was not my intention to hurt you with what we did… I was overeager and acted rashly. Forgive me?"

Gokudera sucked in a breath and knew his hand was squeezing the hell out of Tsuna's. Forgive him? Fuck that!

"Go—!" he began, but stopped with a wince when Tsuna dug his nails into his hand.

"Don't… please don't," his boyfriend pleaded and Gokudera felt the wind rush out of his sails.

He sat for a few seconds in complete silence, not understanding how something this fucked up could happen. Why the hell did he have to accept this apology? Was it because of Tsuna? Did he really… but…

"It's okay," Tsuna said, smiling up at him with affection. "You don't have to accept it right now, just know that it's there."

Gokudera nodded absently, not knowing if he'd ever be able to accept it.

"Did you want some breakfast?" Tsuna asked Byakuran, who nodded, and Tsuna stood up with a wince.

"I'm… I can make it…" Gokudera stammered a bit uselessly.

"You'd burn down the kitchen," Tsuna jested and then winced in pain when he tried to move.

"Then I will prevent him. Between the both of us, I'm sure we can create something edible," Byakuran stated, standing up and kissing Tsuna's hand lightly before shooing the boy back to the couch and moving into the attached kitchen.

Gokudera tensed up at the idea of having to help the bastard, but one look at Tsuna and he knew that he'd break sooner rather than later, may as well get it over and done with.

Leaning forward, he kissed Tsuna lightly and headed off to the kitchen as well, staring awkwardly as Byakuran already seemed to know where everything was.

"So…" Gokudera trailed off and Byakuran paused in his smooth movements, turning to look at him instead.

"Breakfast?" Byakuran suggested, motioning to the ingredients on the counter.

"Shut the fuck up…" Gokudera grumbled at him and looked away briefly. "Look… this breakfast thing isn't about breakfast and you know it."

Nevertheless, in consideration of his sore boyfriend, he moved over to get the elements on the stove ready and tried to collect his thoughts.

"I do feel true regret for what happened. I never should have jumped to conclusions so quickly," Byakuran informed him lightly. "However, it has been… a long time for me and such words were too much."

"A long time?" Gokudera asked, frowning as he attempted to mix things the way Tsuna did.

"I have not been involved with anyone since my last visit to the future almost a year ago," Byakuran continued and Gokudera paused, looking back at him in confusion.

"I'm afraid my tastes were set, and my body would accept no other," Byakuran said and gently bumped Gokudera out of the way to expertly mix and stir and work the ingredients to perfection. It wasn't quite Tsuna, but Gokudera could admit that it was a helluvalot better than what he could have done.

"Why didn't you just tell us?" Gokudera asked, feeling frustrated and angry at the lack of knowledge that both he and Tsuna had had going into this entire mess.

"Would you have believed me?" Byakuran snorted, and Gokudera couldn't help but shake his head at that.

"No… I probably would have tried to kill you," he reflected.

"Precisely. I had to let things happen on their own," Byakuran motioned toward a few more things on the counter and Gokudera decided to be useful and get them for him.

"That makes sense in a fucked-up kind of way," Gokudera agreed and felt his stomach rumble as Byakuran finally set to cooking his concoction.

"In this situation, there was simply no other way that it could have played out," Byakuran shrugged, and Gokudera agreed with him in a sort of 'What other choice do I have?' kind of way.

"So…" he trailed off, wondering how one was supposed to approach the whole 'Did you want to try fucking me and my boyfriend into the mattress?' thing.

"I would love to," Byakuran agreed to the unspoken question and Gokudera felt a slight flush appear on his cheeks.

"But it'll have to wait… Tsuna's too sore right now," Gokudera said warningly, half-expecting Byakuran to jump them both immediately.

"This weekend, then?" Byakuran asked, a touch of hope in his voice that Gokudera felt oddly inclined to both smash to smithereens and carefully take care of. How fucked up.

"We'll have to ask him," Gokudera deflected.

"I'm okay with that!" Tsuna called out from the living room. "I'm just sorry I can't start now."

Gokudera flushed red and Byakuran chuckled.

"Always a tease, Tsuna," Byakuran called back and Tsuna turned from where he was watching cartoons on the TV to stick his tongue out at them.

Strangely enough, Gokudera felt… fine. He felt neither good nor bad, but maybe a little self-conscious and worried. Otherwise, he felt okay.

He had been terrified of this conversation, but now that it was over, he realized that it had been like pulling off band aid – the fear of the pain was always worse than the pain itself.

With that in mind, he went back to 'helping' with breakfast – mostly just handing Byakuran the things he needed – and felt his stomach twist in anticipation of this weekend.

All he could think about was how amazing it had felt in the alley, despite the pain and situation, and wondered what real, consensual and well-thought-out sex with Byakuran was like.

His blush didn't go away until dinnertime.


	28. Chapter 28

It was dinnertime on Friday that it seemed to finally hit Gokudera; what was going on and how much had taken him by surprise along with how much he'd let happen.

He looked into the living room, leaning his hip against the stove as he half-assed the dishes that he and Tsuna had made earlier. His precious boyfriend was currently curled up in the arms of their ex-worst enemy and was howling with laughter.

Tsuna's laughter was so musical, so breathtaking… he'd do anything to hear that laughter… even share him.

Sharing the Decimo… he'd never even really noticed until now that that was what was going on.

Byakuran had the boy free-falling backwards now; Tsuna a willing victim and molding to whatever position Byakuran put him into.

He heard a gasp and a moan and could guess what was going on. His stomach tightened and he felt an uncomfortable straining in his pants.

Shit…

There was no point in even attempting to be angry. He wanted it almost as much as Tsuna did – as much as he tried to deny it.

He heard a groan from the living room and rushed through the last dishes, dashing over to the couch to see Tsuna with his shirt off, back arched off the bed as Byakuran's hand slipped into his boyfriend's pants and Tsuna's eyes fluttered for a second before opening entirely and locking onto him.

The brown orbs were dazed, foggy with lust and a smile appeared on his face that only made the tightness in his pants worse.

"C'mere," Tsuna invited, holding out one of his hands.

Gokudera walked forward a bit uneasily and gasped when Tsuna grabbed one of the loops on his pants and pulled, dragging his body so that it was suspended over the couch, his crotch directly above Tsuna's face and his face inches from Byakuran's.

"So nice of you to join us," Byakuran stated smoothly and Gokudera didn't get a chance to protest before the man invaded his mouth, taking him by storm and stealing all his thoughts.

He didn't come back to himself until he let out a small shout of surprise, his knees nearly buckling with pleasure as Tsuna's mouth enveloped his straining cock and made him shudder.

"Ah!" he gasped out, his hands on Byakuran's shoulder clenching tightly, biting his lip against the pleasure and attempting to prevent himself from coming right then and there.

Once he was relatively sure he wasn't going to embarrass himself, he cracked his eyes open to see Byakuran watching Tsuna's lips on his manhood and he felt a smirk appear on his face.

"Jealous?" Gokudera quipped and was met by a heated look.

"Unbearably," Byakuran returned and Gokudera let out a groan as the man pushed him back, separating Tsuna from his manhood and sending him on his ass.

"Shall we move this to a better location?" Byakuran asked, slipping off of Tsuna and lifting the boy from the couch, letting his pants fall on the way. "Come along, Goku-chan."

"Fuck off!" Gokudera grunted as he stumbled to his feet and kicked off his pants. It would be hard enough to move with his erection straining as it was, let alone with pants around his ankles.

By the time he got into the bedroom, he was positive that he'd never move again.

Tsuna was on his knees, his lips devouring Byakuran's impressive length while the white-haired man guided and instructed the teen on his technique, suggesting and rewarding with every movement made correctly. As Tsuna sucked him off, Byakuran stripped off his shirt and tossed it somewhere to the other side of the room, but his pants stayed loose on his hips, open enough for Tsuna 's face to fit comfortably into their depths.

"Did you want to prepare our precious receiver while he performs?" Byakuran asked, letting out a hiss of pleasure as Tsuna masterfully showed off a move Byakuran had taught him bare seconds ago.

Gokudera caught the lubricant – although he didn't know how, as his hands felt like jelly – and stumbled forward.

His erection was so hard it was actually painful and he collapsed to his knees behind Tsuna's kneeling form.

"Come up, little one… on your knees," Byakuran coaxed and Tsuna did as requested, lifting his ass into the air for Gokudera's perusal.

Gokudera appreciated the sight more than he probably should have, knowing precisely what those muscles felt like around his cock and wanting more of that feeling desperately. His fingers were shaking as he coated them in lubricant and then lathered up his cock.

"Mmm… just one more time and you can have your reward," Byakuran sing-songed to Tsuna as the boy tongued each of the man's balls and made an impressive attempt at swallowing each of them whole. "Very good…"

Byakuran's eyes flickered to Gokudera's over Tsuna's head and he gave a small smile. At the signal, Gokudera dove in, starting immediately with two fingers.

Tsuna let out a soft gasp and paused in his ministrations for a second before going back with full force, sucking and mouthing harder as though to beg for more.

"Such an eager little one, aren't we?" Byakuran moaned, lacing his fingers into Tsuna's hair as his back arched and sent his throbbing length into Tsuna's waiting mouth.

Gokudera swallowed, not pausing once in his preparation of Tsuna. From his position, he was able to see the show the other two were putting on with brilliant focus.

When Tsuna felt ready, he inserted the third finger and Tsuna moaned around Byakuran's cock, taking him in to the root and Gokudera watched as the youngest in their party swallowed, making the eldest gasp and Gokudera saw the moment the man's balls pulled up into his body.

Tsuna, however, had other plans, and reached forward, yanking on the other man's testicles and smirking around his cock.

"Tease..." Byakuran hissed, groaning and massaging Tsuna's head as though asking him for permission to come.

"Not yet," Tsuna rasped as he pulled off, kissing the tip of Byakuran's cock and then licking it leisurely. His voice was absolutely destroyed, his throat obviously damaged by taking so much in. Gokudera swallowed, wondering if Byakuran's cock felt any different from Tsuna's…

"I'm ready," Tsuna said, leaning back and kissing him for a moment.

Gokudera leaned forward, lining himself up and slowly entering into his boyfriend, his eyelids fluttering madly as he sucked in a breath.

He heard Byakuran groan again and figured that Tsuna had once more taken him into his mouth. When Gokudera was a bit over halfway in, he jerked his hips forward, pushing the rest of the way in and slamming in such a direction that he _knew_ he'd hit Tsuna's prostrate head-on.

The smallest boy howled in pleasure and Byakuran echoed it, hips thrusting forward into Tsuna's open mouth and lips falling open into a wide 'o' of pleasure.

The feeling of having power over them was strangely addicting and he thrust again, making Tsuna's body sing with pleasure while he got off on watching them both.

It only took a few seconds of this for Tsuna to come explosively on the edge of the bed and for Byakuran to let out a small shout, which he took to be the man's orgasm – although Tsuna was doing a beautiful job swallowing it all, so he couldn't know for sure – and Gokudera followed them swiftly after, the muscles in Tsuna's ass strangling his cock with pleasurably agony.

The three of them lay there for a second, Byakuran leaning over them and stroking his hands through their hair, before Tsuna pulled back and kissed Byakuran, and then Gokudera.

"Next," he said, pushing Gokudera back and out of him and crawling so that he was straddling Byakuran's waist. "Your turn."

"I can't wait," Byakuran stated, and the two of them started kissing passionately, leaving Gokudera to watch them, which he found… strangely pleasurable.

Byakuran cracked an eye open and looked at him in amusement, before patting the bed beside him.

"You'll get a better view from up here," Byakuran invited, and Gokudera gradually managed to make his legs obey his whims so he could move into the desired position.

"Ready?" Tsuna asked Byakuran as he grabbed the man's cock and gave the half-hard (already) erection a few tugs.

Byakuran hissed in pleasure and his hips twitched reflexively.

"Always," he assured and Tsuna proceeded to fall down on the man's cock, taking it all in with one go and screaming when the angle managed to spear him just right.

Byakuran choked for a second, his faced twisted in pleasure that only got more pronounced as Tsuna didn't appear to have a lot of patience for adjusting and started riding the other man with abandon.

Gokudera watched the sliding of Byakuran's cock out of his boyfriend's ass and wondered if that was what they looked like. He thought it was one of the most captivating sights he'd ever seen.

"Holy shit…" he muttered and his hand found its way to Tsuna's ass without his intention.

Byakuran, as though reading his mind, pulled Tsuna forward to start kissing the boy breathless. The position of their body made Tsuna's previous sliding movements impossible, so he bounced a little bit and groaned even deeper in his throat.

"Y-your cock keeps sliding so deep inside me… it feels so fucking good," Tsuna groaned out and Gokudera nearly came from the words alone.

He took a deep breath and pressed his finger to Tsuna's asshole, poking just the tip in and making both men moan.

"Keep going…" Tsuna invited, slowing down so Gokudera could press his entire finger inside.

Tsuna's back shuddered and Gokudera wondered how painful it was to be stretched that much.

He wondered… if they would be doing that to _him_ some day…

"Don't stop!" Tsuna moaned, kissing Byakuran and pushing back on Gokudera's finger.

Byakuran's hips started moving, jerking upwards and thrusting deeply into Tsuna's ass, slowly and smoothly with each stroke.

Gokudera's finger was pulled along for the ride, sliding against them both and making him shiver with the sensation. Reaching down with his other hand, Gokudera grabbed the lube and spread some on his fingers again, guiding a second one into Tsuna's body and loving the feeling of twitching muscles against his digits.

"One more… and then you can…" Tsuna invited and Gokudera nearly swallowed his tongue.

"Y-you'd let me?" Gokudera stammered and Tsuna smiled at him, those devilish eyes he only got in the bedroom _daring_ him to refuse.

Like hell.

Gokudera worked intently after that, spreading Tsuna wide with his two fingers and gradually adding a third. Tsuna rode them like a pro, getting more and more erratic with each thrust and gradually allowing Byakuran to take control of their movements all together when the stretching became too much to move.

After a minute, Gokudera moved forward, lifting Byakuran's thighs onto his own so he could place his cock at Tsuna's entrance.

"You ready?" Gokudera asked, kissing Tsuna's shoulders and hissing at the feeling of Byakuran's cock and Tsuna's ass at the tip of his erection.

"Uh huh…" Tsuna agreed, his eyes dazed and his body shivering.

"O-okay," Gokudera nodded and pushed inside.

It was… it was…

Gokudera lost all ability to think for about ten seconds while his body attempted to become accustomed to the feeling.

Tsuna was panting and wailing and Byakuran was kissing the boy, attempting to comfort him a bit. Gokudera nearly pulled out, and had in fact gotten halfway when Tsuna squeezed his ass so hard that both men inside him flinched.

"If you pull out of me right now… I swear to God I'm leaving…" Tsuna panted, glaring at him with tears running down his cheeks.

Gokudera almost didn't care, hating the idea of causing Tsuna enough pain to make those tears.

"B-but I'm…" Gokudera stammered.

"Sex is as much about pain as it is about pleasure," Byakuran informed him. "They go hand in hand for some people…" He developed a smirk on his face and smacked Tsuna's ass, making the boy whimper in pain, but his face flushed in pleasure. "Some just enjoy that pain more than others."

"Wha-?" Gokudera cried, but didn't get a chance to say much more as Tsuna pushed himself back onto their cocks, swallowing him whole and killing his brain cells in one swift movement.

"AH!" Gokudera cried out again when Byakuran thrust, his hands on Tsuna's hips to support the boy as Tsuna started riding them both.

"Fuck me," Tsuna gasped, reaching back to grab Gokudera's hips and pulling him forward, hissing at the feeling and allowing him to falling back before pulling him forward again. "FUCK ME!"

Gokudera's mind was shot, his thought process was blown and he doubted he'd ever be able to think straight again.

"OKAY!" he screamed back, anger and embarrassment and fear and devotion making him frantic as he dove in to meet each of Byakuran's and Tsuna's thrust, making the boy between the two attackers scream exactly the way he wanted to.


	29. Chapter 29, Epilogue

Gokudera wasn't really quite sure how it all happened… how the years had passed and how he'd so lost track of time.

They'd gotten married – Tsuna and Kyoko that was.

Kyoko knew that he and Tsuna were lovers, but didn't mind. Hell, after they were married, she'd joined them a few times. Within a very short period, she'd gotten pregnant and a Vongola Undicesimo was born. The boy was beautiful and Gokudera loved him as much as he loved the boy's father.

Byakuran had come in and out of their lives, appearing at uncanny moments to save their asses and the asses of their friends – the fight with the Simons being a very good example of this – and he'd often spend extended vacations with them, fucking them so hard that it made them scream and hunger for the next time.

Still, they never told anyone about him. Reborn guessed, Dino had a clue, and Gokudera was pretty sure that Hibari and Mukuro had figured it out over the years, but for the most part, it had remained their secret.

Gokudera wasn't really sure what had brought them all together that evening, just knowing that he needed to be cautious of time, as Tsuna had an appointment the next day that he couldn't be _too_ sore for, as it involved a lot of sitting.

His hand was currently in his lover's and Byakuran was across the dinner table from them, smiling like the bastard he was while he jested at them both, teasing his words into innuendo that once-upon-a-time would have made him blush, but now only made him snort and snap back.

It was a comfortable sort of occasion and one that they'd been enjoying for some time. Still, there was an undercurrent at the table – of desperation and tension – that he didn't understand.

He squeezed Tsuna's hand tighter, but when Tsuna looked at him, there were tears in his eyes.

"C'mon," Tsuna said, pulling his hand and Byakuran followed them like a shadow as they passed into the next-door hotel and proceeded to a room Tsuna had booked earlier.

The three of them had fucked all night long, hours and hours and hours until they were spent and Gokudera realized how badly he'd failed at making sure that Tsuna would be okay for tomorrow.

Tsuna didn't seem to mind and just kissed him harder when he attempted to mention the appointment.

"I won't be making it, silly," Tsuna had told him, those tears ever-present in his eyes and Gokudera started to feel fear broiling in his gut. Tsuna never missed an appointment.

"Why?" he asked, and Tsuna rolled his eyes, looking at Byakuran, who looked away with a pained look on his face.

Tsuna didn't say anything, merely kissed him gently and tugged him closer, wrapping his arms around Gokudera's neck and holding him tightly. Byakuran came around behind Tsuna and they sandwiched the man, feeling him shudder between them.

"I love you… I love you both so much," Tsuna said, the tears finally breaking over as he started crying and Gokudera lay there feeling like the biggest asshole in the world. What the fuck was going on?

The next morning, Tsuna woke bright and cheery, not a single shred of tears in his eyes – as though the previous night had never happened.

At one point, when he'd been in the washroom, he heard Tsuna and Byakuran arguing about something in hushed tones, but when he came out, the conversation instantly took on a different tone about whether they should go to the zoo or the aquarium.

Tsuna had won out eventually, claiming that he wanted to go see the zoo that the entire group had gone to on that one wacky occasion.

The trip over was uneventful, with Tsuna tromping around in jeans and a casual shirt – looking for all the world like any other mid-twenties lay-about wandering around. Gokudera had gone back to his roots and was sporting a t-shirt under a dress shirt and jeans with enough chains to kill half the animals in the zoo. It felt weird being back in his teenaged clothing. He was pretty amazed it all still fit.

Byakuran, as he soon found out, didn't appear to change much over the years. He still wore white, was still a bastard and still seemed to be like a seductive shadow, just waiting for them to let their guard down so he could leap.

As they paraded through the park, they got their picture taken at a random vendor. Tsuna had gotten the negatives and held onto them for awhile. He seemed unsure about them, but eventually he turned to Byakuran and smiled a little wistfully.

"For that picture frame, hey?" Tsuna offered, and Byakuran's expression broke for a moment, seeming to crash to the earth in flames as he turned away, separating for them for a bit.

"What was that all about?" Gokudera asked in confusion, really not understanding what the fuck was going on with this weird day. Why the hell were they missing a very-important meeting for this? Reborn was going to kick their asses – and the kid was almost seven now too!

"Nothing… just give him a minute," Tsuna said, his eyes gazing off into the distance before refocusing and he turned to Gokudera with an incredibly serious look on his face. "You're not alone, Gokudera… no matter what, I hope you know that."

"Of course not, I have you," Gokudera said with a goofy smile – still unable to believe after all these years that Tsuna, the Decimo, was his lover.

"Not just me," Tsuna assured him, pulling him close and leaning his head against the taller boy's chest. "You have Kyoko and Yamamoto… and the rest of the Guardians, and Reborn and Dino… and Byakuran. You're not alone."

"What… what are you talking about?" Gokudera asked, but was taken off-guard when Tsuna gasped and pointed at something over his shoulder.

"Look! It's a Reptile Room! Those things are so fucking cool!" Tsuna exclaimed with child-like glee.

Somewhere on the way to the Reptile Room, Byakuran started following them again, but he looked positively green.

Gokudera felt a tingle somewhere in the back of his head, like he should know something… like something was wrong, like… like he should be remembering something.

"M-maybe we shouldn't go in there," Gokudera stammered, holding back, but unable to stop Tsuna's forward march. "I don't think it's a good idea."

"Psh… snakes are so cool. Didn't you have a snake on your belt that one time, in that really cool fight with the Varia?" Tsuna said as he stepped to the door and proudly showed off his badge to the guard at the door.

"That was a dragon…" Gokudera trailed off, his tongue going numb as the feeling of doom increased, falling over him like a curtain.

Tsuna marched inside, grabbing his hand tightly, even though the muscles in the Decimo's hands were trembling. Byakuran appeared at their side, his expression dire and his entire body shaking.

Gokudera felt tears burst into his eyes and he didn't know why.

"Tsuna?" he gasped, but that was about as far as he got before the Decimo's eyes rolled back into his head and the person he loved most in the world collapsed dead-away into a suddenly-sobbing Byakuran's arms, Gokudera's lifeless fingers were numb and outstretched in horror.

"Someone call an ambulance!" one of the zoo-keeper's staff screamed, but Gokudera's heart had already stopped beating.

Had it really been… five years?


End file.
